[Stephanie221]

It should tell you in your Uc online account your amount and then your child’s amount and your housing amount what do they say?

[Stephanie221]

Hi

if you know he’s earning more than cms state you can ask for a mandatory consideration but you will need some sort of proof for them to investigate and if he’s being paid some of his wages cash in hand then it won’t be counted in the calculation and it’s hard to prove as it’s not through hmrc. cms will tell you to report it to hmrc  they will only go with hmrc s figures to calculate they won’t ask his employer.

You cant enforce them to take it direct from his wages if he’s paying it even though your having to chase it which is crap for you I know. If he misses a payment or only partially pays then you can report this to cms they will then chase it up and if he continues to miss payments he could be put on collect pay (20% extra for him,4% less to you) it would take multiple missed payments on direct pay and then collect pay before a DOE order would be considered. All you can do is report if he misses any payments really.

Cms starts from the date you make the claim so he’s legally bound to pay the £62.35 from the 22/02/22 so if he’s not paid that or partially paid that since that date then let the cms know and it will be added to his arrears. Any payments he has missed or partially paid before the 22/02/22 won’t be counted and cms won’t include them so u wont receive them  unfortunately. bare in mind cms normally work on a monthly payment schedule not weekly you should have received a payment plan with monthly dates on it as will he. It’s those dates cms will use in regard to missed payments.

hope all that helps and good luck! x

 

 

[Stephanie221]

hi

is it court ordered contact? What is the current order of it is?

[Stephanie221]

To me Steve

a parent reducing their financial responsibility’s( impacting the child) for travel expenses is basically like them charging their children to see them.

[Stephanie221]

Hi

Have a look on the benefit calculator below and get an idea of what you should get it will depend on your income but unless your a really high earner you should be entitled to UC. its split into 3 single, children and housing. private renting amount will depend on your LHA. There is sometimes a discretionary fund for deposits it depends on area and your circumstances . You should also be entitled to 85% of childcare cost depending on your income. Also you should apply to cms your ex should be contributing to your children. Just put all your details into the calculator you should put the LHA amount for your area into the housing part to get an idea x

https://www.entitledto.co.uk/

[Stephanie221]

Does the contact order state exact dates for Easter every year? As in the “1st April” but the rest of the holidays state to arrange between parents? Was there any specific reason for that? It’s strange normally a court order would state all holidays to be split equal and arranged by parents.

so he wants the February holiday, May holiday and you to have October?

to be honest id maybe best to go see a solicitor(normally have a free first hour)  and see what they say and if they think it’s worth going back to court to get order changed. You can’t and shouldn’t expect your life with your kids to be dictated by your ex and if he’s not willing to come to an amicable agreement about holidays then it needs dealt with for everyone’s sake! As it stands your not able to plan anything in advance and 28 days isn’t really reasonable.

keep a record of all exchanges that show you are sticking to the court order and are being cooperative trying to arrange holidays fairly and it’s him that’s not co parenting reasonably. If He did take it back to court they would only be interested in the children’s best interests and they see it that both parents should have a fair amount of holiday time with the children, they won’t take to kindly to him not co parenting with u to arrange dates nor will they accept him saying “ I want xyz” just because it suits him. So keep a record of it all. All you legally need to do is make the children available for him on his court ordered days if he doesn’t turn up that’s on him and your under no obligation to have them available again on the day he’s changed it to without it being mutually agreed. Stick to the court order and your doing no wrong.
Id be inclined to go back to court and change the 28 day clause possibly to alternate half terms each year. Keep your head up he sounds like a right *** xx

[Stephanie221]

Hi

whose name is the house in?

[Stephanie221]

If the court order specified specific dates then I’d stick to those dates.
As for the other part of the order regarding  other holidays to be agreed by both parents then that’s what you should do propose your dates he propose his and then compromise both of u if need but to be honest if he’s a narcissist (sounds like he is he will always want it his way) but don’t feel bullied into having the holiday contact dates only on his terms. There’s a big difference in being “flexible” and being “controlled” as long as your doing your part of parenting and following the court order then your doing nothing wrong it would be him defaulting it x

[Stephanie221]

Hi

Go on a benefits calculator website

https://benefits-calculator.turn2us.org.uk/ 

Do a few different hours/pay scenarios on there and see how your benefits will change and then you can figure out the best hours for your circumstances.

hope that helps

[Stephanie221]

Hi as all new claims are done through UC now it would be a joint claim. Have u applied for UC and they have said your not entitled to anything?

you would be assessed for the couple element, child element and housing element (if renting) then because you are both working they would take a percentage of both your incomes off that amount unless your joint incomes are very high u may still be entitled to an amount each month if your income varies each month so would your entitlement. Savings can also be taken into account depending on amount. You  would also still be entitled to child benefit as long as you don’t meet the income threshold (I think it’s £50,000 but could be more unsure in exact) your partner being self employed makes things a bit trickier I think especially the kids he’s predicting 1st year so maybe someone will come along more knowledgable about that.

[Stephanie221]

Well firstly he should be providing regardless I’d speak to him about it and any issues let cms deal with it.

Has he said he wont accept that because he wants more? What access does he want? To be honest I’d start the mediation process as it seems hes got the idea in his head that he can come and go as he please. I would calmly say to him it’s not appropriate now to spend time in your hone with your child and contact needs to be arranged appropriately if we can’t agree then we will go to mediation and take it from there. Court cases are long winded at best of times but covid has obviously made things drag out longer so if it has to go through court it won’t be done before she’s 2 1/2. You don’t seem to have any issues over contact on your end you just want stability for your child a court will see your fine with EOW and midweek visit and that’s all they care about the best interests of the child so he’s in for a shock if he wants it to suit him only ie in your home whatever day/night.

Flatshare I’m not 100% sure on I think it won’t be an issue for him aslong as there’s no valid concern about the flatmate but like I said I’m not entirely sure. x

[Stephanie221]

I’d say your right not want him in your home or having visits every day it’s not something a court would agree with.

The point of mediation is to try to arrange things without having to go through court. A mediator (trained lawyer or not) is just that they are there to mediate between you both they won’t get involved by agreeing with you or your ex they will sit with you both but ultimately it’s upto you both to talk and try to come to an agreement and if there is no mutual agreement the mediator will give u both paperwork for it to be then put through court.

If it doesn’t go to court as long as there’s no safeguarding issues your ex will like be given weekly contact and some sort of weekend overnights(EOW) and half of holidays/celebrations. As your child is 2 they may hold off on overnights but I’m sure by 2 1/2 overnights will be granted. I’d say it’s best to try come to a mutual agreement without courts but your well with if your rights about not letting him in your home and wanting consistency for your child. Does he provide financially?

[Stephanie221]

Your ex only needs to make your daughter available for contact she’s under no obligation to say she should see u (morally she should try but legally no) as harsh as that sounds. Only thing you can do is go back to court but At 14 a court would likely take her views into account with contact. She’s at a tricky age at 14 a lot of kids that have separated parents don’t want to do the same rigid contact schedule like when they were younger it’s just a teenage thing but I think your downfall by your post sounds like the WiFi I get why u thought to turn it off but it’s like cutting a limb off to teenagers these days lol they won’t see it as my dad just wants to spend quality time with me without any internet

[Stephanie221]

Hi

what is the access he is wanting? He can’t take it to court u til you have attempted mediation.  I’m sure it needs to be a family mediator not a lawyer but i may be wrong

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