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    Hi I’m fairly new to it as well. I am nervous about being a single mum but what I can tell you is that even in this short time since I left I’m a better mum on my own than I was in the marriage I was in as I’m less distracted by the what was going on with my relationship with my partner. I think that what awaits you can be positive and what awaits you for sure is possibility rather than a continuation of a situation which it seems is not making you happy. He will not necessarily take it well, but it will be the start of an end to an unhappy situation for the both of you. I’m nervous about meeting people and how things will be post lockdown. I didn’t leave my relationship easily and am finding the loss of it difficult particularly without actual social contact. I think if you look to all the positives the separation can result in, perhaps make a list of things you will try and pursue and what you are looking forward to about being away from an unhappy marriage that might help. If you can be kind in what you write to him and try and keep it fairly concise but clear. An email is probably best and maybe just get a half hour of legal advice before so you understand what your rights are with regards to your children and finances. My situation was quite complicated because of a number of factors but I can highly recommend making yourself as educated on what separation involves as you can to take away the fear of the unknown. What I’ve found is that there are a lot of single parents out there and the ones I’ve met since considering the end of my marriage have been a wealth of support and experience. Think as well about your married friends who you will still have contact with. My friends and family have been a godsend at this time. Don’t think that because people aren’t single that they still won’t be willing to help or still be available to you. People will come through and those that don’t will have been there for you in other times and that’s okay. We’ve had cards from family friends, offers of support with childcare post lockdown, and within lockdown FaceTimes with other children. I hope this helps. It’s scary what you’re considering but honestly I think of myself being on lockdown with my partner rather than a single parent with my son, and for all the difficulties that entails, I know it was the right decision. We go for walks together and there’s no tension just me and my child looking at ducks. I’m tired and I’m distracted and in mourning but I’m finding so much joy in life and I’m not constantly worrying about my relationship and factors that only my husband and not myself could control. And I have so much more peace now despite the fact that my child is rather climbing the walls! Big love to you it’s possible and it’s worth it x

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