[MarkHB]

Thank you all.

Things have moved on this week but I’ll update in an appropriate fashion soon.

[MarkHB]

That’s tough. And awful, they deserve better.

I hate the fact that I’ll have to spend as much half the month apart from them, spent about four nights away in total in four years.

Thank you.

It is going to be quite an eye opening time.

Mx

[MarkHB]

Such a shame – makes me angry at the fantastic experiences they are missing out on and the children who don’t get the love they deserve.

My two drive me wild at times like every child does to their parents but that’s just part of the gig!

Mx

[MarkHB]

Thank you.

I am primed for legal support if and when needed.

I’m not going anywhere despite the situation, my kids are everything and I look forward to being with them without this hanging over me.

I should probably get on to Fathers for Justice as well to have that on my side.

No offence taken – I’m just trying to see the mental gymnastics it takes to not appreciate that this might actually be a problem for me to be honest.

Sorry to hear of your situation, I cannot understand why you wouldn’t give everything to your kids, they changed my world more then I could have imagined and I would do anything to be with them.

I know not all women are like that, my instinct is to see the good in people and this is hard.

But we will all get there. Mx

[MarkHB]

True.

Thank you.

[MarkHB]

Thanks Rob,

Its fairly awful as an emotional rollercoaster yes but I have seen a solicitor and they have told me under no uncertain terms to leave.

At the moment if I ignore the fact shes messaging and going to see another guy and us not being man and wife then it’s okay.

It hurts that she has erased me from her life to cater to her new social media audience but day to day it plods along.

The shit will hit the fan a week on Monday and then it will get tough.

[MarkHB]

Single T – that’s my approach if I am honest, especially once it all kicks off on the 29th.

The angrier she gets the calmer I will be, the more kindness I will show and I’ll keep my dignity.

 

Alan1 it would be hard to prove beyond anecdotes from friends and family in all honesty.

 

GirlFriday good luck and enjoy the weekend!

Im glad to hear it gets easier, getting actually apart will be a big help.

Mx

[MarkHB]

Oh and good luck – go get him! Mx

[MarkHB]

In some ways I can’t wait for that chance.

I’ll miss the hell out of my two but to be away from my wife and out of this situation will be such a relief.

My little girl’s birthday today and for our son we have filmed him coming down the stairs into tee living room with all his presents each year.

Had a bad night with my daughter and I was sleeping downstairs with her already.

My wife said ‘It’s a shame we now don’t have a video of her’.

This is a woman who has erased me from her Facebook page and cut me out of the video where I am playing with our daughter so she can upload it to Instagram.

When I said ‘what would you have done with it anyway?’ She asked if I was feeling okay this morning.

Like I say, the woman has a

split personality…

Mx

[MarkHB]

Good click SingleT – hope you get the rest and the following business goes as easily as it can.

Mx

[MarkHB]

Thank you.

Its is just a shame when that person was your favourite person in the world and they become something ugly and unrecognisable.

Still it’s done me a favour.

[MarkHB]

Positive week despite it all starting off horribly.

Got all my financial proposals and conclusions vetted and checked out as sound.
Got my childcare proposals all vetted for fairness.
Got my/our financial adviser’s sign off and recommendations.
Spoke to mediation services about the next steps so know where that stands.

Saw an independent solicitor for my half hour free advice, which having already spoken to one on the phone meant that between the plans I have made and learning from the previous conversation meant I was able to maximise my time, understand my rights and entitlements and have a length discussion about the divorce process we could go down, how to use mediation and what happens if mediation fails.

I have written a heart felt, open and kind letter to my wife expressing my desire to enact this separation if she has no desire to continue as husband and wife and for her to consider her future hopes for living arrangements, financial future, childcare arrangements and of course divorce.

Today is my last day at work for 10 days and we have a family holiday to encompass my daughters first birthday, Easter, time off, her birthday and a few day trips.
I intend to be nothing but happy, calm and enjoy the time with my family and my children, even make sure she has a nice birthday and show her that I am the kind, warm hearted person I have always been.

And then Monday 29th April this gets real and the time for her to have her cake and eat it ends.

I’m in a good place surprisingly, taking charge of my life again.
I fully expect a dreadful May, but I am prepared for it and know that there is very little she can do now apart from make herself look bad.

[MarkHB]

Thanks SingleT,

It has been painful but with the morning comes clarity.

I channeled a lot of my negative yesterday into getting myself a plan and making sure that I am the one who drags us through this, even if it means delivering the situation I don’t want.

It’s frustrating as one minute she’s off out acting single and the next minute acting like we’re a family and everything is fine.

We found out my little boy’s school this morning and she was talking about being worried that the school won’t take his sister (an event about 3.5 years away and when I pointed out to her that we don’t know where any of us will be in 3.5 years she got angry and gave me the cold shoulder.

Then an hour ago she started messaging me about our girl’s first birthday we have arranged about things we need to do and then sent a job description for applying for working at the very school our son is going to because it ‘will sort our childcare issues’ despite being a huge drop in salary and part time.

Something that would be fine if we had a future together, but according to her we don’t and no matter what she is in a relationship with someone else.

Crazy.

Mx

 

[MarkHB]

Well, she’s definitely sleeping with the guy shes being going on dates with.

Spent today speaking to my financial adviser and I have solicitors appointment on Wednesday so on Monday 29th April I can call her on selling the house, childcare arrangements and divorce.

I have also contacted mediation services as I believe that when faced with reality things are going to come unglued.

I’m crushed that she has done this to me and yet acts like there’s nothing wrong.

 

[MarkHB]

I can totally see that and thank you for being so candid.

It is totally understandable given the circumstances. Essentially she has done that under the same roof because to her once we are separated she can do what she likes.

Only we’re not. We’re still sharing all the chores and household functions and taking trips for the children.

I want her to go frankly and it is insulting and degrading but my only care right now is for the children. I know I am a good person who doesn’t deserve this so  when the dust settles she will be the one who looks bad sadly.

I hope to get passed this and is have an amicable relationship but I’m no fool and will get tough at the right moment.

But thank you.

[Author]

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