[Liz8110]

Thank you for your answers. I will definitely try to contact again the citizen advisor to confirm some points, for instance I heard that UC might allow to effectively start working when my son is 2 yo. due to particular circumstances but at the same time they are putting in place free childcare hours for young babies and this is definitely to push people to get off benefits. As I said, I don’t mind going back to work, although it might be hard at beginning not being able to have a proper sleep since my late pregnancy months and feeling quite exhausted in raising my son completely alone.
Regarding my court proceeding, I am applying through Legal Aid, which covers my court costs for around £25k, but when I got the documents to get signed, they say that I need to pay back the costs if I start working again. So my worries are UC benefits being cut off when my maternity leave ends, finding a job to survive and paying childcare and at the same time paying back the court costs.

 

[Liz8110]

Hi all,

Your messages recall my situation and all the stress for the unknown future. I’m here (still single mum and no support from ex partner) with a wonderful healthy 7 months old boy. The Gingerbread helpline had been very useful to understand which benefits I could apply. After few months of research I managed to find a flat in the private sector, able to cover main expenses if I carefully budget my bills. I’m honest, it’s hard but not impossible. I don’t have any family around so it can be overwhelming from time to time, but worthy. The only thing I regret, and maybe I’m going off topic, is having my baby’s dad on birth certificate. It’s causing a lot of problems, concerns and abuse and it’s going to lead me to Court. Feel free to reach me out for any advise. And best wishes for your best gift for 2024!

[Liz8110]

Hi,

No, unfortunately they are not in good conditions and are unable to flight. This is what I explained them few times in tears. And I hoped my child’s grandmother could understand due to the similar age. The plan for this holiday was not out of the blue, anticipated them few months ago. And also asked my child’s  if he wanted to celebrate the first Christmas with my son and told me to go to see my family with no problem. Honestly, I don’t know what to expect next time they will see my son, everything has became so toxic now.

[Liz8110]

Hello,

Just an update for whoever might be interested. My solicitor recommended me to prepare a written document, which I did.
Long story short, it became a traumatic experience. My ex partner’s mum found a lot of excuses to not make it sign. Up and forth, till the point she threatened of keeping my own passport and my son’ one. Luckily, some people on the street (as for my safety I don’t go in anymore) witnessed it and helped me to get back  the passports along with the signed document.

I am still shocked from this experience. It’s already hard being a single parent, with the no support and financial worries, not only need to deal with ex who is a drug addicted, but also his wicked mum now.

[Liz8110]

Hi, I am in the same situation. Enquired ads accepting families and benefits, when I say I am single but able to provide payslips, bank statements and references, they reject me. My baby is due in 4 weeks and I really don’t know what to do…

[Liz8110]

Hi Mummytobe,

I am in North West London. I am foreigner and don’t have a family network around me. I have few friends but they have their own family and things to deal with, although they are always available for a call, you know life in London is very hectic. Moreover, I made the mistake to be fully absorbed by my relationship with my ex dealing with his borderline personality disorder and other issues, so I was completely isolated with him. I am much lonely, spend my time reading and resting after work. I have a Church group which gives me support, and few times I contacted some helplines for counseling. My midwife thinks I am processing a trauma, and I will be assessed soon for mental health support.  I believe this is very important, as I am scared of even deeper depression after my child will be born. I just hope that this sadness won’t affect my child’s development.

[Liz8110]

hi Sunflower10, I am experiencing a similar situation. My partner left me out of the blue just one week before I found out I was pregnant, which is 10 weeks ago and he is already seeing another woman. I’m crying non-stop, and feel guilty that I can’t be happy for my child, worrying that all this sadness might have an impact on him/her. We were looking for this baby, now I am completely alone. My family lives in another country and I have few friends here. People told me it is normal I feel in this way, including my GP, and say I need to focus on myself and this new life. I try to pray, but some days are just too hard.

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