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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 37 total)
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  • #47873 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    I saw that too. I’ve reported it.

    #47812 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    @gummibear123 Whilst the breakdown of marriages and relationships may be a common thing, everyone deals with that in a different way.

    I think it’s easier said than done to tell someone not to fret about it. No matter how common it may be, it’s still never an ideal scenario for any parent to see their child in.

    These are the concerns and emotions people will naturally roll through.

    #47580 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    Hi @lionmum I know how you feel. It certainly isn’t what I planned. I’m in tears about it and I suspect I will be for a long while yet.

    Just take each day at a time. That’s all we can do.

    #47577 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    @Bobsingledad I don’t really know what is going on with that. He doesn’t ask how she is. He never called to say Merry Christmas to her.

    We were in the middle of having the house done and it isn’t complete so he couldn’t have her if he wanted to. There are holes in floorboards and electrics all over the floor and all sorts.

    He’s seen her once since I left beginning of December and that’s only because I drove back to London to do the rounds.

    He didn’t challenge me leaving…..

    To be honest, I don’t think I’d trust her with him even if he did. That is what contributed to me leaving him.

    He was indoors with her and I’ve walked in hearing her crying her head off and he isn’t seeing to her because he’s rubbing his dogs tummy because it had a tummy ache.

    On another occasions during summer I got in and she was crying and hot because he had the fan in his dog. He doesn’t prioritise her. He’d rather be down the pub with his dog than spend time with her. He never spent time with her and he never bonded with her.

    #47566 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    @Dash84 @bobsingledad No, I think it’s just revisiting the worries I have for my daughter. The same single parent worries.

    Will she be ok without her dad around, handling childcare whilst I work, money etc….

    Lying in bed is the worst time because that’s the time all those worries come flooding back.

    #47556 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    @Tanial You may be entitled to Legal Aid Tania. Contact a Solicitors and fine out. Alternative, you can talk to Citizen’s Advice Bureau. They will be able to guide you.

    #47555 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    @Sophiewofie90 Try ginger tea. Ginger tea and ginger biscuits. I had awful nausea through my first trimester and the ginger really helped.

    I really am glad you feel better Sophie. I’m here whenever you need a chat ok. Keep your chin up.

    #47538 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    Hi @Sophiewofie90 I did reply to this last night but for some reason, I wrote out a massive response and then it didn’t post. The I fell asleep.

    Im glad I was able to help you to feel a little better.

    My gosh, she raised five! You know, until I had mine, I never understood how much work goes into raising a baby. I can just about handle one. So five! My hats off to her. As you say, it does change your perspective. I was always the type who would sneer when someone said their job was a “housewife”. But my gosh, doing that plus having more than one. Very commendable.

    This is something I always think about! I worry about conversations she has in the playground. I worry the children will ask her where her dad is and she can’t answer. It’s awful. It breaks my heart thinking about it.

    She is coming up to eleven months. She’s such a little gem, an absolute darling. But I’m biased. 🙂 I’m very lucky she is such a calm and easy going girl.

    We are definitely all in the same boat with regards to what we worry about hun, for sure.

    When are you due? And how did you sleep last night?

    #47527 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    @Sofiewofie90 Hi hun, you ok?

    I’m of the same opinion as you. Being a “single mum”. I still recoil at the phrase. I hate it.

    First of all, as hard as it may be; ditch this bloke. Don’t chase him and don’t beg him. He’s selfish and you’re better off without him!

    You are going to have so much of your time and attention taken up by baby that you certainly don’t need to dwell on him or think about him!

    I know it’s heartbreaking knowing baby will not have a daddy at home growing up. My heart honestly aches for the same reason for my daughter.

    All you can do going forward is love, support and provide security for it and that’s all that matters.

    It’s good you have a support network who are there for you.

    Going forward, it’s just the rollercoaster of feelings you need to get through.

    But do not for one minute question your ability to do this. Because you will! It’ll seem hopeless now but I promise you, you will make it work for baby. Having family around you will really help with that.

    You are not a failure. Everything which happens, happens for a reason and baby is a miracle!

    Enjoy this time of growing them inside you. It’s a beautiful and magical time. It flies by too. So nurture it and cherish it.

    Don’t waste your time trying to understand his logic! Focus on you and baby.

    In the meantime, I’m here if you need a chat.

    #47524 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    That’s just classic deflection! Deflection and refusing to take responsibility! He’ll be old enough to tell her one day, “no mum it was you”! Until then, she will scapegoat you! It’s crap.

    Poor boy. 🙁

    Thats very difficult. Have you tried talk to management since then? Not getting the support you thought? :/ That’s bad. And Mike, they can’t sack you. They have no grounds.

    But that stress on top of everything else is definitely not what you need.

    Ok, let’s see what they come back with when they get back to you then. Is it worth in the meantime, looking for something else; just in case? It’s not ideal and I know it’s the last thing you want to find time for buy as you say, you have a mortgage to pay.

    #47518 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    @Tanial @Mike86 Love doesn’t just disappear overnight. We will still feel the love for a long time. Again, it’s just waiting until it slowly fades. It’s gut wrenching.

    Mike, I think you should visit this site.

    separateddads.co.uk

    It has so much advice in there surrounding divorce, legal papers and courts, your rights etc…. Have a read. There’s a forum there for other dad’s to talk to as well. It’s very informative.

    Tania, I know. I feel for you. Mike is right, just cry it out hun. That’s all you can do for now. Cry and let it out. I know it’s difficult to not cry in front of them.

    Exes love to contort the truth. It’s so hard to rise above it and ignore it when you’re already feeling so low.

    Just remember what you’re doing now is for your little’un.

    Tania, are you able to rent? Could you afford to rent privately?

    #47517 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    *case

    #47516 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    Yes I did the same.

    How does your mum get on with him? Keeping up with a four year old boys energy well? 🙂

    I bet he likes being with nanny too. How is he taking everything?

    Hopefully the school are supportive too. I’m sure they’re not strangers to these situations.

    Oh Mike, I know. It’s just a deepening hole within your heart isn’t it. Empty and painful. I’m so sorry. Going over things in your head, what you should or shouldn’t have said or done; what to do differently.

    It’s just a car of having to slowly build yourself back to how you were. It takes time. 🙁

    Is work helping to take some of it off your mind at all or do you feel you need something else? Do you have a hobby you have time to fit in? Maybe you and little’un could start something new together?

    #47511 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    Hi @Mike86 I’ve just read through your post on here and I really do feel for you.

    Should you want someone specifically from the Northampton area, I believe that they have a group on here for that area. Have a look. Otherwise, you could always start up your own group.

    I’ve just requested to start one for where I live. Hopefully they’ll authorise it.

    First of all, well done for stepping up and not running away. You’ve been left in an awful situation but making the effort to maintain it is commendable.

    As I said before, just take a day at a time.

    Who is helping you with childcare? I have a ten month old so I’m not at that point yet but don’t you get a certain amount of hours free? That could help financially. Do you have any family close by?

    I know it’s hard but what you’re doing so far is amazing. Especially as Christmas has just gone.

    Keep soldiering on though Mike. Your son will benefit from this in the end and it’ll all be you. He will know and appreciate that one day.

    #47510 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    @Mike86 It’s one thing to dump off your partner; but your children. I will never understand how anyone can do that.

    I hope you’re getting on as best you can be Mike. We are all here if you need anything ok.

    Im hoping a new year really will bring a fresh start. I hope for the same for you too.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 37 total)