Hi Steve,
Thanks for your reply. Yes that’s exactly what happened with his ex, the court case lasted a very long time and wasn’t pleasant. I just find it sad for my son that he fought so much for his daughter (likely because it was out of his control) but now is so resistant to spending more time with our son (as it is in his control). He occasionally offers to come over and take our son out for an hour or two on the weekend he doesn’t have him, but those offers are very few and far between, and from what I can tell only when it’s mildly convenient for him.
I did think that court may not be able to force him to spend more time with his son, but I wondered if being put in that environment he would actually agree to more as he is very concerned about what people think of him, and I don’t think he would want people (friends/family/professionals he dealt with in the past) knowing he refused more contact in court. Whereas now it’s not an official court ordered arrangement, and it suits him. I’m also aware of some social media posts he has made which allude to the fact that he is being denied contact with his son, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. I think they are just so that if people wonder why he doesn’t have him very often they can put 2 and 2 together and come up with 5.
My son is in childcare 3 days a week, I’m not aware of any childcare options that extend to a 12 hour shift, plus my travel time (I’m usually out of the house 7-9), and I don’t really want to put him in that long. My mum helps on the occasions I do work, but she can’t help very often because of her own personal situation (which again, my ex is aware of).
Of course I want to work more, and need to. My main concern right now though is that of our son not seeing his Dad or sister very often during these formative years. In honesty, I feel like he is failing him by making these choices. But I just don’t know what I can do to get his Dad to realise all of this, he’s just in complete denial and his default setting is to externalise blame, so I feel like I’m probably fighting a lost cause..
