I was with my ex-husband for 15 years; we were married for nine of them. After getting the courage to leave my situation of domestic abuse, I divorced in 2012.
I then began to rebuild our lives. We had short term therapy sessions, although not as a family, but all individually. I also attended a women’s domestic violence group where along with others, I spoke about our situation, and I spoke about it at fundraising events. Resources to counselling and domestic violence services in general are limited as many are underfunded and many services have been cut in recent years.
I began to slowly take courses to train as a holistic therapist in order to be self-employed and independent, whilst also teaching myself other new skills such as building a website.
Financially things have been a strain. I have yet to build up my business into a solid one as most of my time goes into caring for one of my children who has a complex range of disabilities. Although they go to a mainstream school a lot of time is taken up with medical appointments.
As I continue to build our lives including my business, I have been reflecting on the things that help me along the way…
Never give up. You will have bad days, some really dreadful ones but don’t give up because there is always something better coming… always.
Be positive. It’s not easy at the best of times but I’ve found having a positive outlook makes things so much easier. I’m not saying to look at everything through rose tinted glasses and deny the situation; I mean remember the glass is half full rather than half empty. If things aren’t going right, it’s not the end of the world.
Go easy on yourself. Be okay with where you are at. There’s only so much you can ever do at one time. It doesn’t matter what other people say or think, you live your life, not them. You know when you’ve done your best and that is enough.
Love yourself. Treat yourself. You can’t give anything to anyone if you’re running on empty. Have a coffee. Take a power nap. Go for a walk or run. Eat that chocolate bar. Phone a friend. Hug your pet. Hug a tree. Do whatever you can to grab moments for yourself with what you enjoy or need. No, you’re not being selfish.
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