[TxRedneckUK]

 

Hi there again

Have you tried to see if you qualify for Legal Aid? It still exist and could be available for you. Give it try and if you are able to get it then money will not be a problem for you. I got it for my divorce in 2009 (before they changed it) and my solicitor made sure I didnt get taken to the cleaners. I originally was going to be given full custody but I insisted on shared custody as I didnt want to take the girls away from their mother. Plus I had added (as a precaution) that neither of us could move more than 20 miles from each other without a review of the custody, as it was set that the girls would spend 2 weeks with me then 2 with her. We never lived more than half a mile from each other since 2010 as well as had it fixed to where neither of us could take the girls out of the country without written permission from the other. Worked. Our girls are now 20 and 17. 20yr old has a baby of her own now and 17yr old hasnt spent more than 3 days at her mothers in 2 years.

Hope it all goes well for you

 

JW

[TxRedneckUK]

Apply for divorce NOW.. He is comfortable for a reason. Does he help pay for his children? As in giving you money to help with them? If not then that is why he is comfortable.

Also, a bit of advice for the future cause I just had this come back and bite me on the &&&.. Keep your divorce papers always. My last divorce was in 2009 and after all that time never knew I needed them until Monday. Now just had to pay £45 for a new copy from Worcester Crown Court.

Good luck with everything.

 

[TxRedneckUK]

Hi there. I am sorry you are going through this. I am watching my daughter go through something similar but not as extreme. Their baby is now 7 weeks old and the baby’s daddy is hooked on weed and alcohol (suspect other drugs) and is VERY VOLITILE. He is also “damaged” emotionally and mentally. He even went as far as starting an actual fight right in front of the baby’s Children’s Services Social worker with my other daughter (who is 17) and actually punching her. BUT because of his volitile nature Children’s Services have started process of taking the baby away from my daughter even though they are not together and he showed up unannounced and high.

I also have an older daughter who is special needs and it was in my will that she would go with my now late partner/wife so I need to change my will as her biological mother is 5000 miles away and wants nothing to do with her and I have no other family in the UK.

BUT what want to stipulate that your ex could get himself cleaned up and actually turn into a good person and he would then seek parental rights. So be prepared for that possible future. But(again) you said his mother is also an addict so it may not be the case though.

Good luck with that

[TxRedneckUK]

Hi there. I dont believe he can cut you off without a penny if you were married, especially for a long time. Marital Assets divided in half usually. I suggest getting a good solicitor.

[TxRedneckUK]

Hi and thanks. I don’t think it is the Grooming Gangs. There are reports of them in the Worcester area but these people are known drug users and dealers. I just can’t get over that the police knew of one of them cause was able to name them and they knew she was in danger yet they didnt send help.

[TxRedneckUK]

I think what worries me the most is she is also Type 1 diabetic and she doesn’t eat as much since this all started. That is something else I have spoke to her about and getting nowhere. She does wear a sensor which will give her alerts on her phone if she is having or about to have a hypo or hyper. I also warned her that when she first tried weed that she will probably have another WHITE OUT which scared her but that does not seem to concern her either.

[TxRedneckUK]

Hi Yaz

She gets the money from her work. She works 5 days a week part time doing cleaning. She (as far as I know) has not smoked weed in the house. I would smell it instantly. I don’t criticize weed smokers cause I did it when I was young and stupid but not like she is doing. Me, back in the early 80s was like a once in a month or two deal with my brother not every day.

As to making me ill.. too late. Have a hernia again just over a year after surgery repairing first one. Was supposed to be taking it easier and not lift things over 10kg but someone has to do the housework and add to that my 20yr old daughter is now 36 weeks pregnant and she was living in a 1bdrm flat and got a 2bdrm bungalo and couldnt afford to hire movers and when try to get some of her friends to help more or even a couple of mine…. NOPE.. Sorry busy that day or something else. So I ended doing all the heavy lifting (including one box that weighed 119kg…I had problems lifting so put on scales lol). The life of a single dad eh 😀

I worry about my 17yr old constantly cause I know weed is a gateway drug and I dont want to see her throw away her future and if she gets arrested with it, so much for her idea of getting into nursing as that would pop up on what used to be called CRB.

Any other ideas I would appreciate it.

[TxRedneckUK]

Sorry you are going through that Gingerbread Mum. But some say the courts here are like they are in the US too when it comes to divorces and children. It’s a “Woman’s World”. My first wife took me to the cleaners. She disappeared for 2 months leaving me with the kids and she cleaned our bank account. She filed for divorce first and was given the house and both cars and I was ordered to pay Child Support (what it is called in the US). My 2nd and 3rd divorce I wasnt going to be taken. I filed first and got the kids. (I sure could pick them lol).

BUT one thing I could never get to liking here in the UK is the CMS. They are as about as useful as “Teats on a Bore Hog” we used to say. In all 50 US States the State’s Attorney General’s office is in charge of the Child Support payments. They take orders from the courts and take money from the non-custodial parent’s pay check and if they fall behind issue warrants for their arrest (but they will not arrest a woman in Texas for that as my ex is over $600k behind and they wont go after her).  CMS here have very little power and what gets me is THEY CHARGE the custodial parent receiving the money for doing it. Crazy system here.

I do understand how you all feel though. I raised 2 on my own for a very long time (past 18) one was 2 and one was 8 months old when their mama left. It aint easy when you feel the system is rigged against you (even though we know it is supposed to be fair but feels it is not).

Good luck and hope things turn out much better for you very soon and always remember your children love you

JW

[TxRedneckUK]

This sounds really dodgy(using a British term). If it were me I would get a family solicitor immediately. Even though NI is part of the UK, it is still physically part of Ireland. I have no idea how he figures to get them there and back during weekends and the cost would be high even using Ryanair and 2 hour flight each way.

When me and my wife divorced in 2009 I had a clause put in that neither of us could take the kids out of the country without the other’s written consent. She agreed to it and we also agreed that if either of us moved past a certain distance from each other the one who initially moved from Evesham Worcestershire would pay ALL the expense of travel to and from for the children. It worked well cause I am a US citizen and she is UK citizen and she was going to move to Australia. The girls were at the age to where they could decide for themselves. Of our 2 girls one chose to stay one chose to leave but when their mother saw the cost of flying our girl back and forth 4x a year.. our girls are now 17 and 20 and our 20 year old is expecting her first baby in June so Australia plans out the window.

Please keep us updated as I am really curious what can be done (curiousity killed the cat I know but you learn from curiousity).

[TxRedneckUK]

I remember those days. (not funny I know). But you need to reach out to CAMHS asap. They can help him with counselling and hopefully get him interested in school again. My now 17yr old girl was the same way and even ran away from home roughly 30 times in less than a one year period (hence I have 14 different West Midlands Police Officers mobile numbers on my contact list on my phone). She has turned around and has done Health & Social level 1&2 in School and is taking 6 months off of school and has been accepted now at Heart of Worcester College to complete Health & Social Level 3. GUESS WHAT! She took a job working at a school locally cleaning (plus the company chose to pay her full adult wages on top of that cause they figure she is doing an adult job).

So, get CAMHS going  ASAP if you havent already.

Good luck and don’t give up

JW

[TxRedneckUK]

You might want to contact Children’s Services and also get with a family socilitor(preferably the one who handled your divorce). Safety of your child comes first.

[TxRedneckUK]

Yes Birdy,

I do feel that way. Being 58 and having 2 girls (26 and 17) still home and oldest girl is special needs. I dont get to get out at least not in almost 3  years. And when my partner passed away in October 2019 from breast cancer makes it even worse. My kids have been trying to push me to get out there but seems out there aint “out there” like it used to be. Guess its me being silly. But the loneliness is there constantly.

[TxRedneckUK]

Hi. You need to report that your girl is staying in school and he is taking a gap year. BUT.. you can continue to receive the benefits until they are 20 years old as long as they are in school. So you might be looking at losing one of them. (I just looked it up)

[TxRedneckUK]

Ooops says that is not a valid email address

Please send me a PM here with the correct one

[TxRedneckUK]

Sent email just now

 

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