[Redwineforone]

Hi PrimaryTA, I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. There really is no easy answer or one that fits everyone. All I can say is speak with at least one person about this, something to talk things through with. Do you live near family? Friends nearby? I’ve been separated 10 months now and some days are better than others, not there yet myself really.

[Redwineforone]

Hi Djr, unfortunately you can’t. For a house in joint names/ownership it doesn’t matter who pays the bill and who lives in it. When you come to sell, whether that’s now or sometime down the line in the future the financial decision (split I.e 50/50 etc) will be decided on an individual basis for needs.

[Redwineforone]

Hi Nate, I’m sorry to hear about your circumstances and that you’re on antidepressants. It’s very hard to detach emotionally but this is exactly what you need to do, I.e. look after yourself now. If I was you I’d ask myself the question why am I paying the mortgage if I don’t live in the property. I’d pay her ex partner whatever you the online calculator says and nothing more. Do you have family you can stay with over friends? That may be more beneficial if possible.

I’m in a similar situation, separated from my ex and she’s staying the property for now. But I’m fortunate enough to be able to afford rent and pay her what the calc says I should. If she can’t afford to live there and not contribute that may work in your favour which may force her to sell anyway and you can both walk away with something to move forward with.

[Redwineforone]

Hi MummyBearx2, I don’t think there is a definitive answer of when will it get better. Some might say 6 months, others 6 years etc. it’s never easy is all I know. In my opinion if he’s calling his Daughters daily he clearly cares and misses them very much.

[Redwineforone]

Hi Amanda, I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this, like many of us are on here. I’m sure others on here might tell you it gets easier with time…I’m around the stage you are, ex(wife) have been separated around 5 months. She wants to start mediation also. I hope for you and your daughter you stayed in the family home? All I can say from my experience so far is to try and keep it amicable and not get angry when he does contact you, I know that can be easier said than done. May sound obvious but try to not think about the situation 24/7, it really helps me to put it in the back of my mind for at least some of the day. Stay strong, all the best

[Redwineforone]

Hi superspurs, sorry to hear this. It’s never easy telling the kids (that’s the part I struggled with most and said to the wife as she wanted a split she would have to do it, he was 6 at the time but honestly he took it well and was a short conversation really at that age). You should go on the HMRC website and find the child maintenance calculator find, once you’ve sorted out who’ll be looking after your kids. Sounds like he’s leaving the family home(?) so at least you have a roof over your head, which is one less worry for you. It’s important to talk with people so was a good move to join here especially if you have no family near

[Redwineforone]

So sorry to hear you’re going through this Mandy. I can’t offer any wise words I’m afraid as I’m in a similar boat, albeit my wife told me similar 4 months ago. Sure we had problems like most couples do but I didn’t see divorce as a possibility from her. All I can say is we agreed to keep it amicable for our son and she’s turning nasty now about money.

[Redwineforone]

Hi to Totty, I do agree with Steve, it seems like you’re amicable with your ex so I would definitely say bring it up with him. I assume he’s expecting half the equity of the house at some point and of course it’s only fair if he pays his way for this. Not to mention any daily living expenses for his children, can’t understand why any parent wouldn’t.

[Redwineforone]

Hi Brokensoul, I’m so sorry to hear this, just devastating. I’m also on the receiving end of the news that the relationship, marriage also, is over. I don’t know how to move on either or long it takes to not feel like this. It’s just horrible.

[Redwineforone]

Sorry to hear this, so many people in the same situation 🙁 myself included. If anyone is in the south east and looking for place to rent let’s get a conversation going/meet up/something idk. I’ve looked at 5 properties in last two weeks and all crazy high considering will have to pay partner x amount for child maintenance. Mortgage is far less than rent! Reply or DM if want to talk more 🙂

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