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Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 108 total)
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  • #51708 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Hi

    Well this is very odd behavior indeed.  Seems very odd that he would keep them without explaining his reasons why.   Does he think you will lose them? Or skip the country with them or is this plain pig headiness ?   It sounds like a power thing.  It also sounds petty .

    #51651 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Im real sorry bout not understanding the whole PTSD thing. I  shouldnt have asked really. Its great that your Mother in Law is helping and yea sure it will be a fine balancing act but you clearly already have somebody who understands. Shes willing to take the risk of getting into trouble because she KNOWS its right that you and your daughter talk/have contact. Shes already on your side. Yea so it was tonight,who knows tommorow night? Were not there yet. She wants to come home and misses you. Great to know that you heard that shes ok. Keep it up . Youll get there. You sound like a fighter. Youll be fine xx

    #51649 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Hey no ones perfect. Im certainly not and im yet to speak to anyone who is. Not sure what PTSD  is but i know i got OCD. Long story. It must have been really hard to hear her on the phone but at least you got to hear her voice? Your lucky to have a Mother in Law who at least cares enough to realise you need to have contact. Great start ! Hopefully she can convince him too. You sound like you are trying so hard and it must be like trying to run a race with one leg tied behind your back. Or like the sack race where you had to hop,jump,fall over and get back up and start again. Actually,my whole life feels like that ! Or maybe the egg and spoon where you had to balance the egg on the spoon on a particularly bumpy school playing field. Thats how life feels. Or at least to me it does. I keep getting back up but im running out of eggs. What is PTSD anyway? Ive heard of it but not sure. Excuse my ignorance. x

    #51645 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    My God this must be so hard. I cant even imagine. Im not even going to try to imagine because im sure i wouldn’t even get near to the thoughts that this must bring to you. Still a bit confused how it would cause her confusion. Reckon she would rather see you than not. I bet she wants to see you and obviously you want to see her so im unsure why he wouldnt want to let that happen.  Sent you a PM. Hope you dont mind. x

    #51641 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Im sure that is so very hard ! I cant even begin to tell you how much my heart goes out to you ,your daughter and yes,your ex too. This is such a rough time for you all. It aint gonna be easy and hopefully no one has told you that it will be . Its gonna mess with your heads for a while yet. Sometimes in a relationship people say things they dont really mean. When a relationship breaks down then that can be amplified and seem so horrifyingly worse. For your own sanity and that of your daughters please hold on tight. You know youll get there, deep down she knows youll get there and somewhere in his head he knows youll get there too.  If you want to PM then no probs as id love to know how it goes for you. Your in my head now ! Pack it in. !

    #51639 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Your not being selfish for wanting another child. Quite the opposite. Can understand your worried about the dynamics with your ex and your son but thats for your ex to deal with. You maybe shouldnt let what you want pass you by because your worried about things outside of your control? Forget if that will mess with his  head. He put it,he deals with it. Thats how life works.

    #51632 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Well if id been anyones “mum” for 4 years then id sure as hell want a Mothers day card at the least. Im sorry if i sound harsh ,i dont mean to be,just my way. I just cant believe this is happening when its so very obvious that you are the ” mum”  that she has known and its been taken away so abruptly and downright cruelly. Surely he will realise that this is helping no one. I guess one day he will understand but then again i dont know him. Maybe he will never understand but i hope for your sake and the childs that he will. Im so sorry he said you won’t see her again. Maybe he was just being cruel as it’s still so raw? Maybe you all need time. I dunno, im talking like i know this stuff ! Ive no idea it just seems so wrong. Of all the stories on here your one just hits home so hard. Cant pinpoint it. Just seems so very wrong. I really,really hope it all works out for you i sincerely do. Take care xx

    #51631 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Absolutely they should be sticking to that list. People shouldnt be able to add just anyone they fancy to that list. Far be it for me to say but its time to sit down with  both your ex and the school to thrash this out once and for all. If your ex wont then its you and the school alone.You need your own peace of mind here otherwise Toms uncle, Johns brother who happens to be a friend of someone who was once a friend of someone who once knew Toms uncles mate will be allowed to pick them up. Nip it in the bud before it becomes a real issue and you dont know who the hells picked them up.

    #51627 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    You want to reduce the time you have with your children? Sorry mate but your in the wrong place for understanding with that line of thinking Sorry to say it but your either in….or your out. Decision time.. Many parents on here face some shit, tough decisions. Whether that be work. family,social life,friends.  Sorry to be cruel but theres no point me typing messages if your not going to understand. Ive only learnt what youve told in your message and you want to have them less. It must be 99.99 percent of parents on here want them MORE ! Is it easier to have them less? You bet. But thats not how it works and deep down i think you know that. Forget “your” time. It doesnt exist anymore. Kiss it off. Your a parent

    #51626 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Dont worry about his words or his friends on Social Media etc. They may know him but they dont know you. Its only you that counts right now. Your the one looking after the children. As you say, the people who know you, KNOW the truth. Youll get through this BECAUSE they know you. As ive learnt,many will pay lip service to the individual involved but know deep down the truth. Try not to worry. He cant get custody just by telling lies. It doesnt work like that. Take care Buddy xx

    #51622 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    I dont think im able to help but thought my situation may help yours even slightly. My partner is no longer with us. My Mother in Law (her mother) thought that she should have the children. I said no,im fine and can deal with this. Instead of thinking that im the Dad and everything will be fine,decided to tell Social Services a load of lies about me to try to get the children off me. Now,heres the thing that counts so much. Everyone who knows me,including her own daughters and Son, KNOW  for a fact that i can love them,care for them and give them a nice life. Thats my point, people who KNOW you will not listen to hearsay,lies, excuses etc. They know you and know your personality. Forgot Facebook and all that bxlloxks. People who know you, KNOW you. Ive dealt with Social Services (who put a red flag against her) and ive dealt with her Daughters,her Son, two of her sisters who all say the same thing. We know you and take no notice of her. But your correct,when somebody accuses you of child neglect it can hurt so much ! Surround yourself with those who both know you and love you for who you are. Forget the outsiders. They are either liers or mugs. Keep going xx

    #51619 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Bless you. Its going to be heartbreaking. Im just hoping he will come round to the idea of you seeing her soon. Its all still very new to you all. The only thing i would say for sure is that he owes you this and he definitely owes her this. As well as being cruel on you it will be cruel on her too. Thats his daughter and while i dont know him im sure he wouldnt want to be cruel to her. It just he cant see that he is being cruel to her yet. Maybe give him time? Id have no idea how much time to give but hopefully you get to chat to him,explain and sort things from there. I really hope he comes round to your way of thinking. It must have been hard Mothers day and im certain you didnt deserve that. Maybe just stick with the thought that youve done nothing wrong and your trying your best. Sooner rather than later i hope he will see that. xx

    #51550 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    You did the right thing. Thats what you need to focus on. You stayed strong and achieved what you needed to achieve and well done for that!

    #51525 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Hi

    Im real sorry to hear of the circumstances surrounding contact. That must be very hard for you !   It will be very hard for his daughter too and she must miss you badly and i dont see why he cant see that? She must ask him about you. I know this isnt much help but as its been a week maybe there is hope that he will change his mind and let you see her?  Maybe hes being stubborn at the moment?  Its all quite raw and new for everyone involved and i hope when/if you get a chance to chat with when hes calm then maybe he will see how much it would help his daughter to see you? Hope so. Take care x

    #51317 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Im confused. He has parental responsibility for the youngest. You have parental responsibility too ?  Or just him? That makes a huge difference. If its you aswell and the child lives with you full time then the school have to take your concerns seriously. They will be neglecting their duty of care if they dont.

Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 108 total)