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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 108 total)
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  • #59818 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    59 year old with a 6 year old. Single parent. Another aged 8 and a daughter aged 14. I aint gonna say its easy but i am going to say its still fun. Cant think of anything id rather be doing…except maybe sleeping.

    #59817 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Nope. But im from north Northamptonshire if that counts?

    #58690 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Right with you,

    Theres been times ive stepped into the front/back garden as thats the furthest i can go to get away from them (legally). The boys are 8 and 6 and my God they can fight ! I sit out there,have me fag, try to unclog my brain and then come back in again. The respite for me hasnt worked of course. Their still shouting and im still raging as obviously im useless as a parent. In the end we all feel useless and the boys may,just may stop fighting.  Then again,they may not. I wouldnt say ive learnt to deal with it. Maybe just to cope. Under my breath i mutter “bollocks to em.

    #58688 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Hi Anna,

    With the next half term being the october half term then some of these family holiday sites (think Haven,Butlins,Bourne leisure etc) arent too bad. I realise everybody is holidaying in the Uk making it a little more expensive than in past years but what a hoot it is. If you like the idea of camping then thats even better. I dont personally as i dont like living like a refugee for a week but many are very good.

    #58149 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Hiya,

    The clue to this whole scenario seems to be when you said that he wants this…but cant commit to it. Well, he’s just going to have to. It’s time for him to commit.  If he either can’t or won’t then that’s for him to sort out. It would be easy for me to tell you what to do from here but would also be unfair so I won’t. Any advice would be my own personal point of view but I’d tell him that you will only pass your child over to him personally. No one else. Thats just me though. Hope you don’t mind me butting in. I realise its easy for me to say 😟

    #58145 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Hi. First off your doing the best you can under the circumstances. Many don’t. You should be proud of that. Maybe that your so caring means her nasty, violent partner sees you as a threat? He’s knows deep down that you have more. Your the children’s dad and you was with the mum longer and you all shared so much together. Forget him. He’s obviously an insecure tool. You count more to the family. You count more to the children. I dare say you count more to the mum. Forget his bravado. He sounds like a pathetic bully. His day will come. In the meantime, keep doing what you’re doing. Head up 🍺

    #58144 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Brilliant post ! Did you really write that whilst half asleep? I’m not sure i could write my own name during those tough times. Well done and thank you! I actually feel a little better having read it  . Cheers again 🙂

    #58143 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Sorry your struggling buddy.  I may not be much use but if you wanna message, feel free. … mark

    #58142 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Hiya,

    Life can be a ***** that’s for sure. Sometimes it’s difficult,sometimes it’s a complete arse. Sometimes it’s ok. Sometimes it’s irritating, sometimes it doesn’t seem so bad. One day can blur into the next and before you know it looks bleaker still. I can offer no real advice (due to me being a little crap) but can just say keep going and don’t let the bastard’s grind you down. Good luck 🙂

    #55322 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Hiya,

    Sounds like hes messing with their heads and that’s not right. If he is definitely trying to build a case towards taking the children from you then you’ve made a good start by asking for advice. Im sure someone more experienced than myself will be along soon to help further. Far be it for me to tell you what to do but i would start by writing everything down such as dates of incidents,times etc.  This will help you remember everything. At least then you would be armed with all the information should the need ever arise for it. He probably wont like Social Services being involved but i can see why your thinking of involving them. After all he is manipulating childrens minds . If you believe that he is going to contact Social Services , then it would look good on your case to be the one doing the contacting first.  Hope things improve for you .

    #51994 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Great idea that he does the school run in the morning. He would then understand how hard that is . Its putting it all onto you and thats not right. Maybe one day he will understand….but not until that getting them up, ready for school, breakfast,then school run kicks in. Then he’ll get it.

    #51818 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Yea its going to hurt. Big time. No wonder you feel sick. You havent given very much detail though. Why will you lose time with her? Why will you lose your house? Why is the thought of sharing birthdays etc so bad? Sorry.    It just without much info it hard to see how anyone can help in anyway. Sympathy of course. My heart goes out to you xx

    #51809 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    And a happy Persian new year to you too !  Thanks for sharing

    #51805 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Hi

    Narcissists need to be fed. I dealt with one for some years (Mother in Law) but withdrew her food. She hated it but has now clearly got used to the fact that we wont be coerced anymore.  Im not suggesting this would be right for your own particular circumstances but it worked for me. You talk about a special society and your right, that is needed by a narcissist. They will all have one. They find it too hard without one. They will rely on that special society to make you feel guilty like its all your own fault. Dont fall for it. Rule the special society out right now. Shut them down. That special society would have been drip fed only what he wants them to hear. Only what he wants them to feel. Only how he wants them to behave towards you. Narcissists are extremely manipulative. If you have that opportunity, then finish them . I do realise that is easier said than done because they may be close to you.  That going to be really tough to do.

    #51718 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Gummibear has a great point. You may need them one day and seeing as you are the one caring for the children then it should follow that you are the one caring for all the documentation ( passports,birth certificates etc).  Report them as stolen/lost will cancel them all. However if/when you wanted to leave the country then you will need up to date passports which would need reapplying for.  Its not ideal (and fairly expensive) but at least youd have the peace of  mind that there is no control with these things. If HE wants to take the children abroad then he will just have to get new passports and suck it up.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 108 total)