[James1977]

Hi ECM,

Sorry to hear what your going through and your ex seems like a total idiot.

Being a proud Dad of a 7yr old son I crave to see my son when he isn’t with me and have now 3 court orders in place allowing me fair and consistent access. Being a Dad is the greatest gift in life in my humble opinion and if I didn’t see my son for 6 weeks I don’t think I could cope. I hope your ex is paying you maintenance because thats the very least he should be doing and should also wish to do? Us Dads get a bad picture painted of us in most cases which will never change and our kids needs 2 parents in their lives. My advice would be keep up with the 6 weeks visits and once your child is old enough he will make his own choice whether to see his Dad or not. I’m not saying wait till he is 18 or anything just old enough to see what a useless Dad he has. By which time i hope things would have got better for you and your son.

My ex has hurt my son by trying to be obstructive towards me and my sons relationship but it has only made us stronger. I take no pleasure in saying that as soon as my son is of age to decide who he wishes to live with he will be with me in an instant. For example, I now have a court order that states my son is to be made available for a video call every Saturday he isn’t with me at 9.30am. My ex wanted to put a 10minute time limit on the call and the judge wasn’t having any of it and my son is delighted we can talk for as long as we want. Prior to going to court I wasn’t allowed to call or speak with him because  my ex wouldn’t allow it although my son would cry to speak with me.

Apologies for the rant but being a Dad is the best gift life will ever give any man, and any man that doesn’t want to be a Dad is a complete waster.

PM me anytime if you wanted a chat.

 

 

[James1977]

Hi,

Co-Parenting with a Narcissist – Welcome to my world.

My ex wife is definitely a Narcissist and the only way to deal with them is by going to court.

Just to give you a small insight to my situation – I left my wife because we were both unhappy and she asked me to leave the family home which I did. I did not cheat, leave her worse off and was and am a good father to our son. I have him one day every week and the the following week I have him one day in the week and from Friday till Monday. I pay maintenance (and have done since the day i left and have NEVER missed a payment) because I contacted the CSA immediately when I left. I’m not allowed to contact him when he is not with me although my son often cries and tells his Mum he wants to speak with his Dad but this is always met with the same response “No”. She never takes him anywhere (only to tesco, asda or the pub) and doesn’t even allow him to play with his friends in the park after school and doesn’t really engage with any of the parents at his school. I’ve requested to see more of him in the school holidays and have sent my suggested dates to my ex but as she always wishes to be in control rather than think of whats best for our son, this also didn’t go down well and I’m yet to receive a response (Lie- only that she cant agree any times after September as he will be starting a new school). I responded saying fair enough (not really but I try to be reasonable) but can you let me know the school holidays prior to September and  5 weeks later I’m still waiting for a response. I often get a text and usually when my son is with me offering me random days I can see him but as I work full-time its not always easy just to get the time off. I’m going back to court (as I already have 2 court orders in place so in relation to the days I have him during school terms and another one stating I MUST be informed and consulted about any health or education matters) in a few weeks and my point to all this is that Liars get found out in the end. I have done all I can to make things better but my ex wife hates the relationship me and my son have. Just this minute my son called me to ask me to drop of a PS4 game he left at mine at the weekend (the only time he calls is when she wants something to appease my son). When I asked could I see him for 5 minutes (with him crying in the background) I get the usual response which is “No”.

Us men aren’t all bad and being a father is the greatest gift ever and Kids don’t forget the cruelty.

Rant over and apologies for going on.

 

 
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