[HRC1988]

Hi there. I’m so sorry you’re having a tough time. I am alone and struggling too. I don’t have any good advice but I want you to know you’re not alone, you’re doing so well and things will get easier. Try to protect yourself as much as you can from the relentless crap, even if it’s for 5 min a day, do something you enjoy- cup of tea in peace or appreciate a bar of chocolate! Hot shower or nap- anything just for a bit of self love and care. I have my 2 hours between 10-12 midnight as it’s that time by the time the kids are down!! Then I’m missing out on sleep which isn’t fab either as sleep would really help us cope, lots of water, healthy food and exercise (I need to take a leaf out of this book too). Sending loads of love. Hayley x

[HRC1988]

Also kids’ dad is getting married soon to his new partner when I haven’t even been on a date – seems so unfair he’s moved on so easily and quickly while I’m stuck in a rut due to having the kids all the time. And he won’t pay for their swimming lessons, or clubs, yet I’m the one who works part time to look after them! It’s just all so wrong and makes me deeply unhappy. Life isn’t fair, is it x

[HRC1988]

Hello lovely,

I am sorry to hear about your tough time. I am very much the same regarding I have the kids most of the time and it’s making me grumpy, very low and very angry a lot of the time. I am a shell of the person I used to be and it’s because I am exhausted- my kids’ behaviour is super hard work – I have a 2 year old which speaks for itself- and a 6 year old who is definitely ADHD or something as her behaviour is very challenging. I need some breaktime from them, as much as I love them, and their dad is so wishy washy with his commitment to them, I never know if he’s coming or going. Hardly sees them and when he does it’s for barely any time at all. So I feel the same as you. I wish I had better advice but even though I don’t, it might help to know you’re not alone.

we can do this. The kids will grow up and not need us anymore and we will have lots of time- not helpful when we really need that time now but hey ho. Sending strength. X

[HRC1988]

Hello lovely,

I’m really sorry to hear of your plight. I can relate – my daughter who is 6 is always daddy this, daddy that- daddy is perfect and he does minimal parenting – I have the kids 85:15 and I am the stressed, shouty, miserable parent due to this while he is worshipped. I’ve told my kids to go and live with daddy if they think I’m that awful when I’ve been at the end of my tether and as much as I don’t mean it (it would be heart-breaking after all of the self-sacrifice and effort put in over the years) I kinda of think let them see just how rubbish it would be with daddy – and you will find the same, I’m sure. Your son doesn’t realise yet how much you did and still do for him and that no doubt you are ‘snappy’ due to the exhaustion of the endless parenting you’ve done out of pure love for him. He will go to live with his dad and see that it really isn’t better with him and he will realize just how much better it is with you. Give it time. You’re right to let him go but he will come to his senses. In the meantime, keep being supportive of him and checking in, being full of loving words and support. It won’t be a case of the grass is greener but he needs to learn that for himself. All the best x

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