Hi MissSatsuma!
I can hardly believe it, I am in EXACTLY the same situation. I came on here looking for advice. I feel very financially vulnerable. I hope you are ok. We have actually been separated for nearly 3 years. At the moment I’m fortunate in that I’m living in a flat owned by a family member and my ex is in the marital house. He wants to sell it, in which case I would get a lump sum of money (I put my own savings into house but he didn’t have any savings). So I would get that back, but because I only work part time and am on Universal Credit , I wouldn’t be eligible for a mortgage like my ex would, so I couldn’t reinvest in another property.
He has a good salary – at least double what my income is per month , including my universal credit. So he’ll be able to get mortgage and buy a new houses. If we sold the house I would no longer be eligible for universal credit, which means my income per month would half. I would have to spend my lump sum that I received from house sale on day-to-day living + soon be left with nothing. I had savings before marriage and my ex was in debt. I feel it’s very unbalanced. Stay at home mums are very financially vulnerable. I’m hoping to find some free mediation in order to move forward. My ex has a good salary but says he’s also in debt (money has always been a source of arguments as I feel he spends willy nilly). I am resistant to selling the house because my money is relatively “safe” there – house prices rising, etc. My ex wants to sell and move on with his life, which I can also understand, but I need to protect myself and children financially. Our children are 7+8 and spend 50% of time with each of us.
I’d love to hear from anyone in a similar situation and /or how people usually deal with finances upon separating/divorcing. We’d obviously rather not get lawyers involved, but we definitely need someone impartial to mediate.
Also, can anyone recommend any good books/resources on this topic? I wish I had taken the advice in the book The Smart Girl’s Guide to Making and Keeping Money before I got married!
Best wishes, Fiona x
