[comingouttheotherside]

No, he does not have a solicitor, and nor did he bother with contact before the order was made. He doesn’t pay any maintenance towards them either.

My main question is, do I wait and see if he bothers with the children or do i take charge and try and make arrangements?

[comingouttheotherside]

Its so difficult!

I dont want to be the one playing god to my children as to whether or not they see their father. However, it’s more the case as to whether he wants to or not and maybe I am still clinging onto some sort of hope that he will prove to me that he can be some kind of decent human being.  In a selfish point of view, I would love never to have to set eyes on him again and knowing the nasty unreliable person he is, I want to protect my children from being let down by him but at the same time I dont want to seem the bad one when my children are older for stopping them seeing him. I want to protect my children but at the same time i think do i play willing and let them work things out and make their own decisions when they are old enough to do so?

When I spoke to the barrister at the last court hearing, he said I could apply for a child arrangement order and a prohibited steps order. But is that up to me to instigate that? And if I did would that seem I am putting pressure on my ex to see the children? And would he then agree and let them down in the future if he agreed half heartedly?

God, this is so so difficult!!

[comingouttheotherside]

I applied for the order and used a solicitor. At the first court hearing he represented himself, the judge gave him a 2nd chance to arrange representation for the 2nd hearing, but at the 2nd hearing he didnt have a solicitor and did not even turn up to it – so the order was finalised.

Before the application was even made he hadnt left it weeks without contact with the children. I just dont know whether to pursue child contact in the interests of the children or leave it for him? I dont even know if he wants contact with them.

I am trying to push my emotions aside and not be bitter – i admit, it is difficult.

I just dont know whether to pursue it or wait and see if he bothers to try and sort out contact with the kids.

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