Forum Replies Created
19 January 2022 at 9:20 am #65275
judging by the previous posts, sounds like it will be a long drawn out process to claim the money back. are you able to take over the admin work, like write letters on behalf of your partner?17 January 2022 at 10:22 pm #65192
If he is capable to spend a whole weekend with them, caring for them, then I don’t think you should cut contact. You could speak to children’s/social services. If they don’t see any safety concerns, then they will probably see nothing wrong with the arrangements.17 January 2022 at 8:22 pm #65179
Hi, i would suggest try to avoid court and only as last resort. If your son wants to spend more time with did, then think you should help facilitate that. You mention CMS review. Is he paying through the CMS system? If so then they are responsible for reviews and calculating maintenance.17 January 2022 at 1:39 pm #65144
you could try set some boundaries/rules for phone contact while kids are with you. when i was going through courts, I just asked for 1 call a week. the kids are not allowed to have a chocolate bar at their mums, if its from me lol.16 January 2022 at 8:15 am #65072
with courts, what would usually happen is their own Social workers (Cafcass) would step in do things like background/police checks on parents. They would most likely talk to local GP, schools to find out situation with children. They like to talk to the kids also. Cafcass are very influential in court. they will decide and make recommendations to court, about what kind of arrangements should be set out for child. From my on court experience, my kids don’t have autism or need extra support.
for my youngest child, order states that when she turns 2.5 years old, to spend 1 overnight with me every other weekend. then when she turns 3, to spend 3 nights (fri-mon morning) and alternate monday nights, with 2 other kids. Has been going fine and she is adjusting well. So my thoughts are if Cafcass see no issue with overnights starting, I think 1 night a month for a year may seem very restrictive for the child. As it’s going to go to court now, they will decide what is in child’s best interests, for overnights and education etc.
15 January 2022 at 5:27 pm #65048
- This reply was modified 3 days, 8 hours ago by steve3334.
that must have been terrifying for both you and the kids. I think court will be more concerned about his behaviour than a cold house. It sounds like its not safe for him to visit your home. is there anyone in his family that can supervise him to look after kids at his place?15 January 2022 at 2:36 pm #65045
hi, hope your well, feel free to message me any time.15 January 2022 at 2:32 pm #65044
must be very difficult time for you. if the mother has a strong bond with child, then it is likely she will carry on following you, wherever your staying. putting your stuff into storage temporarily sounds like a good idea. then from there you could have it all delivered to new address. have you tried delivery sites like anyvan.com15 January 2022 at 8:09 am #65030
kazob79, where is the children’s father, is he not in their life?14 January 2022 at 2:22 pm #64995
I can not give legal advice. but from my own experience and understanding, those child arrangement orders order the mother to make children available to father on set days laid out in the order. it’s based on his availability. Court frankly didn’t care about my work commitments and told me to go find a flexible job, if I have issues doing school runs. so frankly he is free to decide if he is available or not to see the kids on those days/weekends.
My work is flexible but often the work is only available on weekends, and there have been times where I had no choice but to leave kids with family while I disappeared for 1 or 2 hours. and I received complaints from their mother lol. If I re-married, I hate to think how she would react if I leave kids with new wife. You may find it awkward or uncomfortable that he leaves the kids with his girlfriend. But I would suggest not to rock the boat on this one. When I was in court my lawyer told me that court can not decide everything for parents. even judge said they expect both parents to be flexible in future, and don’t want us back in court. sometimes parents struggle with work, so they pay strangers to look after their kids (childminders/child care).
13 January 2022 at 10:53 pm #64975
- This reply was modified 5 days, 2 hours ago by steve3334.
hi, it’s strange, if it is the case he is being horrible to the child, then why would he want to spend time with him? Did you try to contact his dad and explain some of your concerns, and what response do you get? I think you should try to encourage son to carry on spending time with his dad. other options would possible be going back to court. but from my experience, they do not take the wishes and feelings of a young child that seriously. they may do at older age, perhaps 11/12 and above.13 January 2022 at 8:20 pm #64964
hi, do you drive? can do food deliveries on weekends, in local areas. can get £50 and more for a nights work.11 January 2022 at 10:52 pm #64857
you may get a flat or house. there’s lot of HMO properties, where a house is shared by many tenants.11 January 2022 at 10:32 pm #64850
my ex ran off to a lovely place in camden/belsize area. a national disgrace. google up Englands lane temporary accomodation. kids said it was infested by bugs. everyone in the block has to visit some nearby launderette to wash their clothes. I have known some tenants in Brent got placed into hotels and all kinds of places for temporary accomodation.11 January 2022 at 12:35 pm #64793