[plogermans]

Hi Tonia,

Thank you for your message and kind words re being 70. Sorry not to get back to you sooner but got a new laptop and I couldn’t retrieve my gingerbread password and the password resets from ginger weren’t getting through to my email address so they made a password for me in the end.  I live near Dartford and Gravesend in Kent. I’ve only been to Worthing in West Sussex. I usually go to Brighton and Hastings once a year in summer and they’re in East Sussex as I’m sure you know. My children are adults now, 26F and 45M. and not living at home any more. How old is your son ? I don’t think there are many Gingerbread clubs these days as to start one you need a meeting place/hall that whoever owns it will let it used for free once a week and you have to commit to being there every week to open up and make sure its clean and tidy at the end and lock up. Do you get out much ? Do you drive ? I drive and only go out to grocery shop and once a week to a pub with a friend from school days. The rest of the time i just watch TV and do whatever needs doing in the house and garden or to the car. Anyway be nice to hear from you again but if not take care and all the best to yourself and your son.   Dave

 

 

[plogermans]

Hi,

I’ve had a similar dream all my life, win the lottery (fat chance) and buy a plot for self build with land around it. I’m 67 now lol so its a bit late ! At least i have a smallish garden to sit in on summer days, nothing growing but weeds tho. You must have your work  cut out with 2 boys with disabilities. Why do some dads shirk their responsibilities and not help, have they no conscience ! Anyway I hope you find some support from Gingerbread and keep dreaming of better times.

[plogermans]

Hey,

Don’t be too hard on yourself, as you’ve parented 2 children alone for 8/10 years that alone is a great achievement. I think many single parents feel they’ve let their children down sometimes, i still do now and again and my two are adults now. Being in temporary accommodation cannot be easy and must make you feel less secure. Many people don’t know their neighbours these days and if they’re couples you can feel the odd one out as a single parent, i did especially as a single dad. I also think many single parents will have felt depressed and anxious at times so you’re not alone now. Sorry to hear you have ptsd and i hope the bi-polar assessment is negative but if not i believe the medication keeps it under control these days. It is a lot on your shoulders without the support of a partner or family. It is very difficult with no easy solution but stay as strong as you can for your children as they love you and you are as precious to them as they are to you. Anytime you want to chat i’m here to listen.

Take care,

David

[plogermans]

Hi Daisy,

Sorry to hear your relationship didn’t work out. The Website  Returning to the UK GOV.UK  may be of some help to you. I can understand your nervousness about coming back, especially with your son being so young. I wish you good luck.

David

[plogermans]

Hi,

You’ll be ok, everyone feels this way at times especially as a new single parent. It is hard being the only one to have to do everything that is easier when shared with a partner (usually) but you’ll cope. It can be easy to take it out on your children when stressed so take deep breaths and think how worse it could be, say if you only got to see your children for a couple of days every two weeks. Good luck with everything.

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