[Andrew uk]

My 80 year old mum is a few hundred miles away but I spoke to her, she got the card I sent and I’m seeing her the week after next so all good. You?

[Andrew uk]

No problem. I hope you can do something nice this weekend.

[Andrew uk]

Hi there. Sorry, I am not in south-west but I am happy to chat if you want. Life can be tough but take one step at a time. Sometimes just getting out or getting a wash on is an achievement. Be strong. There is plenty of support out there for you.

Andrew

[Andrew uk]

When it goes to court, you can take a friend with you for support. Try not to pay for a solicitor although I can’t afford it so am doing it myself. Hence why it’s taking so long I think. Litigants in person are more common and contributing to the backlog.

[Andrew uk]

You can get an emergency arrangements order.

There are so many acronyms. Also, going to court takes ages.

You could apply for a prohibited steps order and try and stop him seeing your son this way.

A child arrangements order can just be ignored but then he could be compelled/forced to follow it.

The form-filling is online but is a pain. You can indicate that it is urgent and that will get it looked at sooner.

Yes, attending court is stressful but it’s not impossible.

 

[Andrew uk]

Hi Jennifer,

I’m so sorry to hear about your situation.

I am sure it can be classed as child abduction although my ex did the same with my two, five years ago now.

If he was abusive then maybe contact social services as they might be considered as at risk.

I’m going through court. Unfortunately, it’s often the only way.

He sounds like he is filling his head with negative thoughts.

I hope it gets sorted.

Unfortunately, court could be the only option.

Contact a McKenzie Friend- cheaper than a solicitor.

[Andrew uk]

Do you gave a McKenzie Friend? Cheaper than a solicitor. They will be able to advise you. The internet is full of information but enough to make your eyes spin and your brain ache.

I have been a LiP all the way through. Not easy. Especially as the other party has had representation.

System isn’t geared up for DIY.

Message me. We can chat if you want.

It’s a long time since my FFH. It was during lowdown. Well, it started then.

It’s a long road. But it’s achievable.

I am still on it. 5 years on.

Andrew

[Andrew uk]

Maybe you need to move away and then arrange to see your child at school holidays or monthly etc.

The system isn’t designed in favour of single-parents when the majority of us seem to be.

I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. It seems we try to do the right thing and nothing works.

I hope it works out for you.

Stay strong. One step at a time.

Message me if you want to chat.

[Andrew uk]

It’s hard when the other parent doesn’t agree. Probably best to avoid court and orders etc.

Sorry things are tough.

Stay strong.

[Andrew uk]

Good idea to get him some books etc. Is there a friend or family member who you could talk to?

He is struggling with two separate parents in two locations. He is too young to process what is going on.

Change to seeing his dad for days and extend it to overnights much later. When he is ready and asks for it. “I really enjoy being with dad. Can I see him for longer?”

Let him see that dad days are fun. Maybe he’s worried that you too will disappear from his life when he’s away.

Fun days with lots of child-centred activities.

[Andrew uk]

Hi. Sorry I’m in London. Happy to chat though. I hope you find something that helps.

[Andrew uk]

Are you close to your parents?

How did they react and respond to previous pregnancies?

Won’t they find out anyway?

Make 2 columns – for and against telling them.

Tell them! They will be so happy. Grandparents have coped with far worse.

 

 

[Andrew uk]

It takes a while. It will still be raw as he only moved out in November, especially hard at that time of year. Maybe a New Year – new chances, new opportunities, new possibilities.

He was upset and you are. You have struggled with things for a year before you made the decision. I feel for you. Carrying that weight can’t have been easy.

One positive, if there is one, is that you have made the decision and can start to look to the future. He is hurting as are you. Somehow I wonder if you can stay in touch with him. As long as he is clear as to the situation. Although you need to be clear in your head too. I mean, is it permanent? He sounds like he wants you back? What do you want? Your happiness comes first.

You speak of being able to breathe again – good. You have been struggling for too long.

There are plenty of books suitable for her age. Plenty on the internet you can get.

You need to reassure her that just because mummy and daddy don’t want to be together anymore, they still both love you. It will mean different houses and different times when you see both of you. Somehow, put a positive spin on it.

You didn’t break up because of your issues – that is just a part of it. But do not beat yourself up because of it.

You sound like an incredibly strong person.

One thing your daughter needs is to continue to be parented by both of you. She is afraid she is going to lose you as well as her  dad. Somehow he needs to see her. But each parent at their own pace, I suppose.

Finding a job is hard because of the school-run and all that. Life isn’t easy for single parents. The school-run gets in the way.

Sorry. I hope some of these thoughts help!

Andrew

 

 

[Andrew uk]

I am currently not seeing my two and going through the court. It has taken 5 years so far. It is a long struggle.

I hope that the court do the sensible thing. They should take your son’s views into consideration. You won’t be sent to court for not ahering to the court order.

I hope you find a job that suits you. I know you have probably already done this but all you can do is to explain the situation at interview and say this is your situation. Some employers are more sympathetic than others (I wish all were) to the needs of families.

I am sorry you had to move.

Get in touch with me if you want to chat. There is always support out there for you.

Andrew

[Andrew uk]

He sounds like a typical teen. Yes, friendship time is good. Does he have a male teacher at school who he could chat to? There could be a counsellor? Someone from outside the family. Or reach out and find some local family therapy. I imagine he feels his world has ended but that is not the case. You need to reassure him that both of you still love him etc.

It sounds like your son has a really good social life, with gaming, swimming and all that, he sounds very active. Keep that going.

You say he can’t stay at Dad’s. Well then he could do lots of dad-son bonding things – cinema, walking, go to the pub/meal, swimming? Or there’s even gaming together online.

Could he get a part-time job?

You also need to do things with him, that allow you and him time to spend together.

I hope this all helps!

Andrew

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