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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 69 total)
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  • #35550 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    Thanks both,

    It is best to try and be patient and adapt your strategy to cope with dealing with the other parent but not always easy. Things have improved a little but I’m sure there will be other bumps in the road in future. I think the lesson I am learning is when I am analytical using logic in thinking how best to deal with my ex things work. When I react in an emotional way to something things go badly. You have to be quite clinical in your dealings and out think them sometimes. For me I have to rise above things but not always easy as it feels like you have to act in a false way but its the most effective way I find.

    Adam

    #35467 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    Hi Carol,

    Thanks for the reply. No problem on sharing your issues, that does sound very difficult. It must be hard not getting much spare time to yourself as makes planning things rather tricky I would imagine. It amazes me that so many of us have issues that drive you around the bend. It’s crazy how it ends up that way with people life was once good (or at least OK) with. It’s strange how things change.

    Adam

    #35057 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    Hi Carol,

    Thanks for the reply. I think you are right in a way, I do sort of know what works and what doesn’t. It is just frustrating having to adopt communication methods and strategies that are at odds with what I deem usual. I think the problem is my ex wife can be very sensitive and what I would think is just having a discussion gets almost too much for her. She shuts down and almost goes into a shell. It’s frustrating when you want resolution. I think she needs almost several days to think about things. Often she then comes around to my way of thinking. I just don’t understand why people are like that. I think I just need to learn patience. I think the lesson relationship wise is I’m better off with a straight shooter where you know where you stand and someone who isn’t afraid to say things as they are rather than someone like my ex wife who avoids all confrontation at any cost, but thinks heavily without communicating those thoughts. It’s knowing how to co-parent with such a person for the next however many years until my son is more independent and I need to liaise less frequently with her.

    Thanks

    Adam

    #32819 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    Hi there,

    Sorry for the late reply, yes sure always happy to meet other single parents, would be happy to do something sometime if anyone fancied meeting up.

    Cheers

    Adam

    #20474 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    I’m good thanks, feeling a bit tired so may go to bed but happy to chat more tomorrow if you like?

    #20470 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    Hi Mariamazzy,

    That sounds very hard for you. If you fancy a chat anytime feel free to pm me. I’m sure there are others on here that will be open to chat too. It’s good you have reached out for support.

    Cheers

    Adam

    #19932 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    Hi Linda,

    I messaged you directly before, not sure if you saw. I’ll message you my contact details and we can arrange the details.

    Thanks

    Adam

    #19929 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    Ok that sounds good to me

    #19927 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    Yes that sounds good to me

    #19925 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    Hi Linda,

    I am free then but that’s a weekend I don’t have my son (Louie who is 3 on Thursday). So I do alternate weekends with him (and have him some nights in the week too) so not sure if another date would be better for a kids meet up. Could do the weekend before or after that. I’m happy meeting up on my own too but guess that could be weird if you have your kids there, they may wonder who I am 😂.

    Adam

    #19922 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    Hi Linda,

    That sounds good, I would be interested in meeting up. We will have to sort out a date when you are free. Let me know what dates are good for you.

    Cheers

    Adam

    #19659 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    Hi Rosieposie2000,

    That does sound very challenging, I can imagine it is hard work. Hopefully you’ll be able to chat to people on here to share your problems and good times and not feel so isolated. Feel free to pm me if you want a chat anytime.

    Cheers

    Adam

    #19592 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    To be honest I could see no benefits to being a single parent when it became apparent that was what I was going to become. But actually there are some benefits. I can parent in my own way. My ex was a bit of a control freak over certain things and would say do this or do that. I don’t need to worry about that now. There are lots of good ways to parent within reason and I can do things my own way now. Free time is also quite nice.

    The downsides I’m finding are that whilst I am ok with my own company I would like to put myself out there again and date etc. To be fair in 2018 I did that but found it is quite a difficult thing. If I can be crass I’ll use the analogy of waiting for a bus. Nothing for ages then two come along at once. This is in terms of online contacts and possible dates. I’ve yet to meet anyone that I could see it going anywhere, I guess i didn’t feel the connection personality wise. The last few months I seem to have got nowhere with online dating, no dates, nothing. It is full of flakey people I find. I’d actually appreciate meeting new people in general for socialising but that is a challenge also. I’ve tried the meetup app for groups and haven’t found much local to me. I’ve also posted on here. A few people have replied about possible meetups but nothing has materialised. The moderators here have also signposted me to the two nearest gingerbread groups but I emailed both contacts and had no reply. So I’m still racking my brain as to how to broaden my opportunities for both dating and further socialising in general. Most of my friends live an hour away (which isn’t too far) as I relocated to be with my ex after meeting online 10 years ago. I see these friends every couple of months or so but I’m looking to broaden my social contacts a bit more locally if possible. Seems difficult at the moment.

    #19579 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    I think time to yourself is definitely a positive of being a single parent. It may not be ideal not seeing your child all the time but I guess you can’t control that so an upside of it is free time at least.

    I wouldn’t say you are an awful bloke, I think a few too many on a night out has cost you a lot. From my own experience, I’m sure in time I’ll get over it but it has certainly made me sceptical on whether or not I can find someone loyal for the long term. Especially as I don’t meet many new people in day to day life and online dating seems all about seeing what the next best thing is in terms of all the options available. But if I do end up finding someone in the end I’ll have to take it as it comes and trust until its broken, that’s the thing, when there is no trust there is no relationship so I think when any infidelity occurs even if it is not premeditated it definitely sours whatever there was. Learn your lessons and move on would be my advice. Far from easy I can appreciate, but I think that’s how it is.

    #19545 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    Hi Linda,

    Yes that would be nice. Would be good to meet some new people and chat.

    Adam

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 69 total)