You need to be logged in to save pages.
Our community membership is open to all single parents in England and Wales and gives you access to local and online support, news and events.
Register nowMost parents have legal responsibilities for their child, regardless of their relationship with their child’s other parent. It’s important to understand exactly how parental responsibility works so that you can do what’s in the best interests of your child – whatever your relationship with their other parent.
This page explains the rights and responsibilities of parents who live apart. It tells you who’s responsible for the care of a child and who has a say in things like where they go to school and where they live.
What parental responsibility involves
Who has parental responsibility?
All mothers and most fathers have a responsibility to care for their child – called parental responsibility. Both parents have a legal duty to pay towards their child’s upbringing, whether they have parental responsibility or not.
If you have parental responsibility, your most important roles are to protect your child and give them a home. You’re also responsible for:
Routine, day-to-day decisions can be made by whoever is looking after the child at that time. They don’t have to be agreed with everyone who has parental responsibility.
Even so, it’s helpful to agree on things like discipline, bedtimes and homework – especially if the child spends time at both parents’ homes. It’s also good to talk to the other parent if one of you wants to introduce a new partner to your child. But you can’t stop the other parent from doing this, unless the new partner would be a risk to your child.
Important decisions like where the child lives and goes to school have to be agreed by everyone with parental responsibility. And anything major – like if one of you wants to move abroad with your child – has to be agreed in writing.
If you can’t agree, you can try family mediation. If mediation doesn’t work, you can apply to the court for an order. There are 2 types:
A judge will then decide what’s best for your child.
Certain people automatically have parental responsibility:
If the biological father wasn’t married to the mother when the child was born and isn’t on the birth certificate, he can get parental responsibility in a number of ways.
If the father isn’t on the birth certificate and the mother agrees, both have to go in person to the register office to reregister the birth. If this isn’t possible, you can download a declaration of parentage form or get one from the register office.
This is a formal written document made using a special form – see parental responsibility agreements below.
If the mother doesn’t want the father to have parental responsibility, he can apply to the court for an order. See parental responsibility orders below.
The father will only have parental responsibility while the arrangements order is in place, so he may also want to apply for a parental responsibility order. More on child contact arrangements
Marrying his child’s mother gives a biological father parental responsibility. The child’s birth will need to be reregistered using form LA1 (also available at register offices).
Step-parents don’t automatically get parental responsibility if they marry or civil partner with a child’s parent. They can get parental responsibility by:
This formal written agreement must include both the parent that they’re in a relationship with and the child’s other parent if they have parental responsibility. See below for more.
If a child’s other parent has parental responsibility and won’t agree to give the step-parent parental responsibility, the step-parent can apply to the court for a parental responsibility order. See below for more.
Adopting a child ends the legal relationship between them and their other natural parent, so think carefully about the impact of this. They’ll lose all maintenance and inheritance rights from that side of the family as well. Family Lives has more on adopting stepchildren.
Grandparents, family members and other carers can get parental responsibility by:
Agreeing to share parental responsibility through an agreement avoids having to go to court to get an order.
Everyone involved will need to fill in a form and then sign it at your local family court, so that it can be witnessed by a court officer. You’ll need to take a copy of your child’s birth certificate and proof of identity.
You can get the form from your local court or download it. You’ll need form C(PRA1) if you’re a biological parent and form C(PRA2) if you’re a step-parent.
If you’re struggling to agree parental responsibility, see our page on help when you can’t agree.
If it’s impossible to agree on parental responsibility, a parent or step-parent can apply to the court for an order.
The court will decide if it’s in the best interests of your child for the parent or step-parent to have parental responsibility. Unmarried fathers are usually given parental responsibility, unless there’s a very good reason for them not to have it.
When making their decision the court will consider:
To apply for an order, fill in the application for an order (C1) and send it to your local family court.
If you have parental responsibility, you can choose someone to be a legal guardian for your child after you die. Their grandparents, siblings or step-parents wouldn’t automatically become their guardian in this instance. This would be decided by a court, unless someone has been named. You can appoint a guardian through a will or in writing, as long as it’s signed and dated.
The guardian you name for your child would be appointed as soon as you die. They’d have priority over the surviving parent, if there was one.
If your child’s other parent wanted your child to live with them, they could challenge your decision by applying to the court for an order. They’d be asking the court to decide that your child should live with them instead of the guardian. The court would consider what would be best for your child.
Either parent can name a guardian, and the guardian would only be appointed after both parents have died. If your child doesn’t have a relationship with their other parent, or if you think someone else would be more suitable to look after your child, it’s important to put this down in writing – either in a will or other document. The person you suggest as guardian won’t be appointed because your child’s other parent has parental responsibility. But your wishes would be taken into consideration if a court is involved.
If you have a child arrangements order naming you as the person your child lives with, you can appoint a guardian to look after your child after you die.
In this instance, your child would live with their guardian rather than their other parent, but they’d share parental responsibility. If your child’s other parent wanted their child to live with them, they could apply to the court for an order. The court would decide based on what’s best for your child.
Date last updated: 28 June 2023
