Being a single parent has its ups and downs. And as a parent, you’re no doubt used to putting others before yourself. But everyone struggles with their emotional wellbeing from time to time. There’s no shame in opening up about how you feel and asking for help – it can be the first step in feeling like yourself again.

Here we share advice for looking after your own wellbeing, with ideas to help improve how you feel, boost your confidence and manage when things feel tough. 

If you’re worried about your child’s wellbeing and are looking for ways to support them, read our page on your child’s wellbeing.

Recognising how you feel

Where to get help

Common problems

Tips for looking after yourself

Wise words from single parents

No one can be at their best all the time. Life changes can be very stressful. And it’s easy to ignore the pressures of day-to-day responsibilities when you’re a single parent. Sometimes problems and challenges build up and start to feel overwhelming.

If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. In the UK, 1 in 4 people experience mental health problems each year. This can make the day-to-day challenges of parenting feel even harder.

But you don’t have to struggle on your own. There is support out there.

It’s OK to ask for help, even if you’re not sure what’s wrong. You may be:

• Worrying more than usual
• Finding it hard to enjoy life
• Feeling hopeless or overwhelmed
• Having thoughts and feelings that are hard to cope with

It’s important to remember this: taking steps to look after yourself will help you to look after your children.

Here are a few places you can go for help. 

Our free Wellbeing Workshops are a chance to meet other single parents and learn tools to manage stress and improve your wellbeing. These 2-hour sessions are delivered online at times that fit around busy family lives.

Our Single Parent Stories are where single parents share what they’ve been through and learned. Lots are about getting through tough times and dealing with all types of feelings. 

You can also chat, make friends and meet up online in  our Wellbeing group in the Gingerbread Digital Community.

Friends and family

Just sharing your thoughts with another person can make you feel much better. And being open with someone you know and trust can help you think about how best to share your feelings with other people, if you need to. 

Mind has some useful tips for talking about your mental health with friends and family. 

If you’d rather talk to someone outside your family and friends, you could try talking to other parents through networks like Mumsnet, Netmums or Dad.info.

Online and phone services

There are lots of charities and organisations that are here to help people with their mental health. 

• Mind has information about lots of aspects of mental health – and a helpline where you can talk to someone about how to get the support you need. They also have specific information on parenting and mental health. We have started a warm transfer pilot to Mind’s Info line from Gingerbread’s helpline. It is a 3-month pilot possibly to be extended, started on July 15th.    Mind’s Info line provides the support with the following:  
  • Mental health problems  
  • Where to get help near you  
  • Treatment options  
  • Advocacy services  
  • Welfare benefits (ask to speak to a welfare adviser)  

• Hub of Hope can help you find mental health services in your area.

Your GP

Your GP is there for both your physical and mental health. They’ll listen and can suggest a way forward – like self-help resources, medication or counselling. They may also make a diagnosis and refer you to a mental health specialist, like a psychiatrist. 

They should also schedule regular appointments with you to check how you’re doing.

Mind has some useful guidance on preparing to talk to your GP.

If you’re pregnant or have recently had a baby, you could talk to your midwife or health visitor too. 

A counsellor

You might want to think about counselling, or talking therapy. Your GP can refer you to free counselling sessions or you can sign up directly through the NHS if you live in England. 

You can also pay to see a private counsellor or therapist. If you’re on a low income, always check to see if they’ll reduce their fee. 

To find a counsellor or therapist, the Counselling Directory and BACP are good places to start. Relate offers relationship and family counselling in centres around the UK, as well as online and over the phone. If you’re working, your employer might offer free counselling through an employee assistance programme (EAP).

Find time for yourself

Looking after your children can take all the time and energy you have. So try to get some time to yourself every now and then to recharge your batteries. All busy parents need time away from children, housework and chores. Maybe you could get a family friend to look after things for a few hours while you get away. Or perhaps you could arrange a little extra childcare – you can look for local childcare through the Family and Childcare Trust.  

Say yes to help

If someone offers to help, don’t be afraid to say yes. Even an hour or so of babysitting can give you time to get away and collect your thoughts, and do whatever helps you relax. 

If you don’t have family or friends nearby, or if you’d rather talk to someone outside your family, somewhere like Home-Start can help. They have specially trained volunteers who can visit you at home for a few hours each week – see how they work. 

Celebrate the little wins

Every family has its ups and downs. Try not to compare yourself to others – no parent gets it right all of the time. Try making a list of all the things you’ve done in the last week, then highlight the ones that have been good or helpful for you and your children. You might be surprised at what you’ve done.

Look after your body

Looking after yourself physically can really help you feel better. Something as simple as getting out for a walk can change how you feel. You could also check whether there are any low-cost or free exercise classes near you. Or do some yoga at home – there are lots of videos on YouTube.

What you put into your body also makes a difference. It’s important to eat well – as what you eat can affect how you feel. Netmums has some budget-friendly recipes you could try for the family.

Learn something new

This can give your confidence and mood a boost. Many adult education colleges offer reduced fees on both leisure and career-related courses if you’re claiming benefits, tax credits or qualify for a concession. For more, read our pages on financial help if you’re studying – either in further education or higher education.

If you’re planning to go back to work and want to learn new skills, see our page on learning new skills.