[Tom Freeman]

I know how you feel i am in the same boat at the minute. Me and my ex split up over 8 months ago and had two children together but my first child past away due to still birth which i wouldnt wish on anyone not even my worst enemy. But we had another child july last year so hes about 9 months old and at first everything was fine i was seeing him were able to take him out to see his granparents but all of a sudden BANG!! No reply to messages nothing just out of the blue so been wrapping my head round why for past couple of weeks as to why what have i done to deserve this from a women who said she wouldnt do that to me but whats more upsetting is the fact is we both have lost a child and now shes being like this. I understand what you mean as i dont have any social life i just sit in my house just watching t.v dont get out anywhere as just dosent appeal to me as i have suffered with depression and anxiety for past 5 years due to lossing my son. Sorry for the long essay just need someone to talk to

[Tom Freeman]

Hey there, yes thank you, I will go to my own Dr first and see what they say, but yes your right, I feel in a bit of a tight spot, I just wish the CMS would call me.

 

As for ACAS, thank you so much, I had no idea I could go to them for this.

 

Thanks for the info

 

Kev

[Tom Freeman]

Hi

i’ve been having a similar problem. He refuses to pay for months and then pays a little amount and my request to go to collect and pay are cancelled.
however after nearly 3 years I’ve finally been moved to collect and pay in February.
what you need to do is put in a formal complaint. If after 21 days it’s not dealt with then you need to escalate it with them. I did this and 3 days later someone called me and the change was actioned.
It’s  not a quick fix at all but it might move you in the right direction 😊

[Tom Freeman]

I haven’t got private health care no or a good friend to be honest . I made a will year and I made a wish for the boys not to go to their father and to go to my parents, but I worry because he is getting married would he just be granted them

[Tom Freeman]

Hi yes challenged a few times. CM get their figures from HMRC unless getting paid cash their is a paper trail.  Lol my ex husband only pays because he is told too otherwise he would not bother.  Recently noticed been paying £10.00 short for nearly a year, wants me to use the money paid for their birthdays and xmas, baring in mind doesnt bother with them usually either.  He made out worked part time and one point had 3 horses with his other woman.  I think they think we are stupid.  Keep eye on expensive cars etc, can get proven in his name etc.  Plus if you are 100% certain can report for fraud.  Obviously dont say it was you.  They can investigate different bank accounts etc.  You dont need to prove it you have to give them the heads up and they will investigate xx

[Tom Freeman]

Yes definitely should be entitled to more child maintenance the times he stated is with him and is not.. they will speak to HMRC for actual figures.  Him taking and waiting for them to go to clubs etc is just what they need.  Him making an effort and he certainly cant pin this on them and make them feel guilty.  I was always told they have to have their own bedroom not sure if it applies to this.  I was also told via a mediator much to ex husbands disgust that he should be the one to pick up and drop off, not you

[Tom Freeman]

I would not think a joint claim is the right answer as it is not true.  There are online calculators that can tell you on your wages etc what you can get help with.  Contact your local council and universal credit for advice too.

[Tom Freeman]

Hi if it helps I have raised both my children on my own eldest is 17 other is 13.  Their dad has never bothered.  As a single parent yes some hard days but with support, kindness and care and more inportantly self care you can do it.  I dont have support etc however I know I am doing right by my children.  We dont live the life of luxury nor would I want us to but we have our family unit.  Do you have childcare, government do help with funding otherwise.  If your instincts telling you to end it then it is the right decision for you.  I divorced my ex husband because he was never there in any aspect.  So this made me realise I could do it.  The fact your studying and raising a child is quite commendible.  I dont think you realise how much your capable.  Your doing it already.  Dont ever settle for an unhappy relationship for a child because children are not stupid.  You want to raise that child to know they also deserve to be happy and when they are older that they also dont have to be in the wrong relationship xx

[Tom Freeman]

from a health and safety perspective and duty of care they can not legally allow you to go to work as you stated it is documented you are not well enough.  Can you go to an independent company to seek payment protection.  I know I can get if if I need it.  Also can you go to your doctor and get medical evidence to back your case.  Do not go to work if it risks your health.  Your health and your family are the most important parts.  They are holding you to ransom so to speak.  I work from home and help a lot of people who include retired under paid people.  You can take control and make chooses.  Stand strong dont let them dictate to you please.  This added stress no doubt is certainly not helping you.  Also just thought you could speak to ACAS free legal and confidential info.  0208 185 7476

[Tom Freeman]

my ex husband has never bothered so for me not experienced it, however could they be grown up enough to make the effort for the child.  Even if it means they do not talk.  Or do it over 2 days 1 with you other with the ex?

[Tom Freeman]

I dont personally think you need his permission.  He left, your doing what is right for your child.  He sounds like just being difficult.  Its not as if moving away etc then need his permission unless safeguarding of course.  As precaution also let the nursery know that situation and do not include him as a named contact in an emergency.  Only people you trust. xx

[Tom Freeman]

oh my goodness, I am so sorry to hear this.  Please dont use your energy on him, you must focus on you and your children, have you got private healthcare and a good friend to help you?  You can get put in place guardians to look after your children if the time ever came.  State in your will to that their dad does not bother.  Please look after you.  Anyone in your situation would be bloody angry but keep your focus on you and your children xx

[Tom Freeman]

you can appeal their answer.  I think also can go to the doctors and get signed off and request carers allowance and is it pip or disability living allowance.  I know someone who is going through similar and she stood her ground.  Finally now listening and not making her life harder.  She is part of team and allowed to earn so much a month additionally.

[Tom Freeman]

I am a single mum to 2 teens, work part time and self employed so at home too.  I make sure turn off things that are not needed to be on, having my smart meter allows me to work out what can go off.  I am lucky I get good savings with my provider and get money off my bill for going food shopping and referring people.  I also make sure I only put in the kettle water that is needed and dont leave tv on standby.  Something else do you make sure you give readings and not let them charge you on estimates? not all companies are the same thankfully.

[Tom Freeman]

I think you are amazing.  I only have 2 and that is hard work.  No doubt your extremely busy but you truly are great.  I worry too and anxiety not good some days. Please make sure you do self care for you xx

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