[sophieb]

Hi,

That can’t be nice for you or your son to be in that situation.

It may be worth having a conversation with your son and then maybe a joint video call for you all to express thoughts and feelings in a calm way.   Your son may or may not say that he doesn’t want video calls because of this reason. If so then it would be useful for Dad to hear this so he knows that it makes him uncomfortable.
Letting your son decide may be the best option, so then Dad can’t say you are doing anything.

It is unacceptable behaviour on his part and I don’t think you being able to hear is unreasonable if he is prompting your son to do something that he obviously doesn’t want to do.  I’m sure if the shoe was on the other foot he would be doing the same.

Happy to chat if you need to 😀

[sophieb]

Hi,

I’m sorry to hear you are having a tough time at the moment.

It is a tough one, it may be worth speaking to the job centre or welfare rights for some advice and guidance.

With renting affordability, your universal credit should bump up your wages and you should receive payments for the children. So that all counts towards your income to go towards your rent.  When I became a single parent and had to find a rental I thought I wouldn’t be able to afford it as I only work 16 hours too, but UC bumped it up enabling me to do it.

If you aren’t able to get a mortgage or have to use the savings for rent etc, hopefully you can find some comfort in knowing that, that will be your home and no one can take that from you. It would be money well spent. But I totally understand with you saying it hurts to have to spend that on bills etc, I would feel the same.

Could child maintenance from the father be an option to help with childcare costs etc or council housing if you explain the situation you are currently in.

I really hope you find some answers, happy to chat if you need 😀

[sophieb]

Hi,

I’m really sorry you are going through this.

I know it is really tough moving from the family home and going into something like a council house, if that happens try and find some comfort that you and your children will have a house to make your own.

Is there any possibility of you being eligible for universal credit until you manage to find a suitable job?  You can get a benefit check through Welfare rights if you haven’t already.

Also does Dad pay any maintenance to help? I know you mentioned court, you could always query CSA if he isn’t paying. Unless it is 50/50.

There are grants available aswell through local councils. It might also be worth contacting food banks etc.

Here if you need to chat 😀

 

[sophieb]

No problem at all, I’m glad you found it helpful 😘

Sometimes it’s just nice knowing that how you are feeling is completely justified and normal. Many parents will agree that going to work is time to be yourself again, not mum or carer etc.

Have a lovely evening x

 

[sophieb]

Hi,

I’m really sorry you are feeling this way. I can’t imagine what you are going through.

I know it can be a really lonely time and you are doing all you can.
Maybe you can find some comfort in that your girlfriend will be so grateful that you are looking after the children and carrying out all the plans you made.

It may be worth you seeking some professional support, with a gp or a counsellor. Sometimes it helps to speak to someone and learn some coping strategies.

Here if you need to chat 😀

[sophieb]

Hi,

You are not being selfish at all, we all get to the point where we need to do something for us. To put being a Mum or Carer on hold for a bit of time just to be us.  Without work I think I would go stir crazy, as strange as it sounds I look forward to work. That’s my time.
One thing that helped me is to think…You have to remember you are fulfilling everyone else’s needs, but what about yours. If I am not fulfilling my needs then I can’t be the best that I can be.   It may feel selfish and you may feel guilty at first, but you have to think no this is for me. Because it is not selfish at all.

Always here if you need to chat 🙂

 

[sophieb]

Hi, I’m all new to this forum. But I can totally relate to what you are saying. I was a single parent in theory before actually splitting up with my childrens dad. I now am a single mum to two while working and managing a house, so I completely get how you feel.

Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world, then to become a single parent is a whole other ball game. I totally agree it is so tough, mentally and physically.  And by the sounds of it you are doing so much with working full time, looking after a little one. It does feel like you are on a constant hamster wheel.

Unfortunately or fortunately during times like this you do get to find out who are your friends and who are their to support you.

Always here if you need to chat 🙂

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