[peonie13]

Thank you everyone.

he’s been useless since we broke up but also I’ve had times when I’ve just not wanted to be in contact with him because it messes my head up; I’d have nothing to do with him if it wasn’t for the baby, because he hurt me so badly.

But I do want to facilitate a relationship with him and the baby. And I know I need to start speaking to him about practicalities of co or parallel parenting a newborn, including finance. No idea where to begin with any of it really.

i will be sure to call the helpline!

 

hope everyone is doing ok

 

• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by peonie13.

[peonie13]

So sorry to hear that.
Your healing is super important! For both  you and you baby. Your own well-being has to come first!
So I would say that if staying in contact is getting in the way of that, then you might need a period of no contact with him.

For the sake of my baby, I have tried to maintain contact with my baby’s father since he left me at 5 months pregnant, but always end up feeling worse and like it’s getting in the way of getting over him. So I’ve cut contact for now and feel a lot better.
Try even just 2 weeks to begin with and see how it goes. If you still don’t feel like you want contact after that then don’t. Or you may decide to have somebody else mediate or communicate on your behalf if there are important things to talk about with him.

Do you have a support network or even just a few friends of family you can talk to and rely on? And have you spoken to your midwife or GP about getting support for your emotional well-being?

 

[peonie13]

From my understanding of the baby isn’t born yet, he currently has no rights as a parent. You can chose to not put his name on the birth certificate if you want to maintain sole parental responsibility for your baby. Although he can apply for a declaration of parentage in order to be added to the birth certificate.

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