[Nezi@]

Have you explained this to citizens advice? As in have you told them you’ve got no family? Have you called the government department for PIP to ask them where else you could refer to for support in filling out the form?

[Nezi@]

I hope it works out

[Nezi@]

If you’re on their birth certificate then surely you have equal rights to see your children? If you think you ex is a controlling relationship and emotionally harming your children by stopping them from seeing you then I’d report her to social services. I would also tell my children they are not doing anything at all wrong by seeing me, and just pick them up from school and bring them over to my house and let them stay over. You have just as much right to see and be with your children and don’t lose sight of that!

[Nezi@]

I would apply for universal credits and declare my earnings and let them decide and inform you of what you’re entitled to. But I’d wager you would receive some support

[Nezi@]

Aww Sherifa I know you’re right and I agree I do need to make steps to move in to my flat and take of my own responsibilities. I am just scared of having to do even more than I currently do and I’m not sure I will cope well, if I’m honest. But the reality is I will have to do it at some point, as I can’t keep paying for a property I am not living in. It’s costing me an absolute fortune and furthermore it’s weakening my capabilities, as I’m getting comfortable accepting that my mum will do this that or the other for me or my little girl, albeit in a sweet but bitter way. I don’t want to give up my job, as it’s the economic climate is not kind on women as it is, especially ones that have long career breaks. I just get so angry that men (not all) go round having kids and end up not paying or taking care of them, it makes me sick to the pit of my stomach

[Nezi@]

Thanks @Sherifa. I’d say I have a few people around me, but no one I truly connect with as you’ve described. Im amazed to hear your raised two children , how do you do it, if you don’t mind me asking? I feel like I’m constantly cleaning, tidying after my 2 year old. I’m forever washing, hanging and folding clothes…this is a 24/7 365 days a year job and I’m not complaining I’m just digging for any tips on you manage? x

[Nezi@]

Hey Newmum84 yes that’s exactly what makes it feel lonely, the fact that my child is at that age and is demanding, rightfully so! It’s just hard when you’re single and you don’t have that partner/father of the child to share the load with. To top it off my Mum who helps out constantly moans about how much she is having to do to support us, constantly asking me when I’m planning to move out and carve my own life out. Obviously I want to stay in my flat and not be reliant on anyone, but reality is how can I work a full time job and look after my young child at the same time. I already send her nursery 3 days a week and this costs me anywhere up to £900 a month. If I didn’t work I wouldn’t have anything in my life besides being a Mum, if that makes sense. Work gives me time to myself and exercises my brain and gives me that sense of achievement and purpose. More importantly it helps me be able to save for my daughter’s future, because if I don’t save for her who will. I live in North London, wbu?

[Nezi@]

That most be so annoying, if I were you I’d do everything to take over the scene my self! He ain’t got anything over to you girl ! Just keep going out and stop worrying if he’s around, just learn the art of ignoring and blocking him out completely, the worse thing you can do is stop going to the places you and your children love, because if you do that it means he’s won!

[Nezi@]

I’m so sorry to hear that, I mean like you I wouldn’t want to mix with people that either take one side or don’t want to hear the truth. If I were you I would prob talk to different parents that go to my children’s school, and find out if there are any clubs or sessions your children could join outside the school in your local area, which may be an opportunity for you all to meet local parents, families. But I just want to say well done for being strong and getting out of an abusive relationship, you should be so incredibly proud!

[Nezi@]

Awww that’s made emotional and I will cherish every moment even more from this second on xx

[Nezi@]

Yep, I certainly can relate. I’m in north London, it’s probably a bit far but I’m up for a coffee or chat. Nez X

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