[Newsingledad83]

First all stay strong and keep the kids at the centre of everything you do.

I’ve been here. Found out my wife had an affair while we tried for our first. She was only 6 weeks old..I ended it , she wanted to try. Same situation we were in the house together working it all out but she was still in contact with the guy. Would never work.

Anyway fast forward 4 years and we’ve just hosted our daughter’s birthday party together with our families and her friends, we are 50/50 and are very flexible in swapping days etc. I have no bitterness to her anymore and she is still with the guy from affair..

Stay focused on what you want for the kids.. work out a contact arrangement..work out living arrangements ( I lived in a caravan while our joint house sale sold! )

You can do this and it will get better. My advice. Focus on practical stuff. Get out the house asap and then start your healing process. Staying in the house together will become toxic.

If you want a chat message me here.

 

[Newsingledad83]

Hi

I’m actually going through that now..I chose to end things as the relationship was becoming toxic and our children ( from previous relationships ) had witnessed arguing.

Unfortunately my contact is reduced to visiting mum as she is breastfeeding. Killing me but she has refused to even consider mix feeding or expressing

I would sit down with your ex and try to amicably discuss what his expectations of contact are and what yours are and meet in the middle.

[Newsingledad83]

Hi I work in a local educational establishment as a careers advisor. But this is just a thought to explore but maybe you could look at going to college to study.

You may qualify for benefits that don’t require you to actively seek work. I think you can get benefits and study like 16 hrs per week. You would also be eligible for childcare still. I am not a finance advisor but most big colleges have a specialist team that would say what you could be eligible for.

With your criminology degrees you could study a one year teaching course which would then allow you to teach in colleges and 6th forms. Plenty of jobs and good money.

Or even look at the teaching assistant courses they do. Lots of jobs in that area although not paid hugely well. Other jobs you could look at would be healthy care assistant roles. Check out NHS jobs. Lots don’t require formal health qualifications.

Finally you could go to citizens advice and have a chat about studying and claiming benefits too.

But you are right the benefit system is a trap for single parents. It simply doesn’t work for so single parents if they have kids not in primary school and have to balance childcare and work

Good luck and remember you should be proud all the hard work you are doing to bring your child up.

 

[Newsingledad83]

Late reply but thanks.

So fast forward beautiful baby girl born. However less than a week out of hospital and we’ve had a series of arguments. I often get stoned walled and ignored for a day or so and left to parent the two older girls. This happened and then she wanted to talk. So I did which ended up in her calling me a c you next Tuesday shouting and screaming.. at this point I’ve realised I am in a toxic relationship and I’ve ended it. I am devastated but I feel this has been an emotionally abusive relationship..I keep doubting myself and think it will get better but it doesn’t..

I told her and I’ve contacted her parents who were lovely and they’ve took her back home with the baby.. obviously I am gutted but I plan to discuss proper contact arrangements once the dust has settled.

I hope I have done the right thing but for the last 12 months everything I said no to she has manipulated.. even now she will not accept it is over

[Newsingledad83]

Not judging at all but personally if I was you I would not have them in the house or around your kids if they aren’t looking for anything long term. Are you looking for long term? If so all the more reason to not have him in the house when the kids are awake. It would be a little difficult but I would have him come around when the kids are asleep for a few hours and leave and not stay over.

[Newsingledad83]

Hi all

 

Sorry for delay. Yes a group has been set up (few details and things I need to complete )

 

https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/community/single-parent-groups/groups/wirral-gingerbread-group/

You can join on link above.

 

Need to agree a venue/ place to mee5 that suits everyone

Thanks

Alex

 

 

[Newsingledad83]

Hi all,

I have completed an application form and sent off. Waiting approval to set up an official Wirral group.

I have set up the very original group email address here.

wirralgingerbreadgroup**********

In the meantime do people want to post some suggestions where to meet for a coffee?

I drive so pretty flexible where on Wirral but appreciate some people may not.

Thanks

Alex

[Newsingledad83]

Blue Mama no worries maybe we all meet for a coffee first we can get to know eachother see what ages kids are and plan things later

[Newsingledad83]

Hi all going to complete form this weekend and try and set it up.

 

Any suggestions of a venue to first meet up?  Do people want to meet with their kids or just adults initially?

Cheers

[Newsingledad83]

 

Hi both

I’m Bromborough area. 38 years old and I have a 17 month old daughter

I’m going to do the application form tomorrow and then try set up the group.

Thinking we should initially all meet for a coffee somewhere and discuss what we want from the group and get to know each other

Be great if we could get a venue we could use regularly for play dates etc. Trips out with kids would be good too. But we can discuss what we all want.

[Newsingledad83]

Hi all and hi Chriscow

 

I actually have only just seen this now.

But i am interested in setting a group up if people still interested.

 

I will message for information.

 

Chris- where about Wirral are you based?

[Newsingledad83]

Contact Citizens Advice they may know of carer charities that provide respite to you and your family. Often they link you with other fulltime carers and have organised trips away etc with other families.

Maybe have a google of carers charities where you live.

Good luck and massive respect for being an amazing parent!

[Author]

Posts