[Mumof1to3]

I got through it 11 years ago with 3 kids in the age of 4 and 2 years and the age of 3 month. In the beginning it was hell! I felt overstrained alone with my kids, my work and the household. But a got my life back, and after 1 year I got over. I completely reorganized my life and managed it, and it was the hardest time of my life, but it definitely worth it. There’s a reason why you are separated, there were problems, and they didn’t disappear. So be sure if you really want to live together again. But if it doesn’t work it will be very hard for your kids again…

[Mumof1to3]

Hi

I understand your situation so well! First of all: Grandparents don’t have any rights, so she wouldn’t get very far at the court. So just relax. Stay calm in this situations, but consequent, that’s the best way to handle difficult mum’s in law and ex-husbands. Sorry for the language, English isn’t my mother tongue…

[Mumof1to3]

• Ich fühle mit dir: Meine Jungs sind bald 14 und 16 Jahre alt und mutieren zu Höhlenmenschen (ihre Zimmer sehen dementsprechend aus). Dass Sachen herumliegen, dreckige und frische Kleider, leere Verpackungen, Schuhe, Jacken, Schuldschein etc., ist in diesem Alter normal, da hilft nur gelassene Konsequenz. Ich schmeisse die Kleider, das schmutzige Geschirr, die leeren Verpackungen etc. einfach in ihre Zimmer, schreie dafür nicht herum. Das stört sie dann dermassen, dass sie alles aufräumen. Allgemein wollen sie nicht mehr wirklich etwas mit mir unternehmen, was ich akzeptiere. Unsere Familienzeit sind unsere Reisen. Wir verreisen 2-3 mal jährlich und geniessen die gemeinsame Zeit. Dir kann ich nur zu Gelassenheit raten. Nutze die freie Zeit für dich, lies ein Buch, nimm ein Bad, geht spazieren, trifft dich mit Freunden und tu dir einfach selber was Gutes. Fühl dich umarmt!

Gingerbread edit. Translation:I feel for you: My boys will soon be 14 and 16 years old and are mutating into cavemen (their rooms look like them). It’s normal at this age for things to be lying around, dirty and fresh clothes, empty packaging, shoes, jackets, promissory notes, etc., and only calm consistency can help. I just throw the clothes, the dirty dishes, the empty packaging, etc. into their rooms and don’t shout about it. This bothers them so much that they clean everything up. In general, they don’t really want to do anything with me anymore that I accept. Our family time is our travels. We travel 2-3 times a year and enjoy our time together. I can only advise you to be calm. Use the free time for yourself, read a book, take a bath, go for a walk, meet up with friends and just do something good for yourself. Feel hugged! 

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by Gingerbread.

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