[mum2boys]

Hi,

oh the struggle is real isn’t it! And friends in couples really don’t get it I don’t think. My boys’ dad hasn’t seen them since boxing day and doesn’t even know that the 16yo started his exams today. The arguments and the time consumed in getting him to settle down to revise, the eye rolls because I’m taking the phone to help him focus or insisting he goes to bed before midnight.. it is so hard with no one else isn’t it. To cook, maintain house and garden, insurance, washing,  remember the trips, dress down days. Thankful for this group and knowing I’m not alone x

[mum2boys]

I’ve only just seen the latest reply. Thank you! It is definitely reassuring to know it is the same for others x

[mum2boys]

Yes it is good. I’m listening to it – free on Spotify  if you have premium.  That and the teenagers untangled podcast are really helping. It was on one of these I think that I heard really good advice tat I am constantly telling myself.. is the mess so important to me that it is worth sacrificing our relationship over. If yes then fair enough it’s the gamble we take, but actually for me it’s not. And I have to say that has worked this last week.  The eldest now has a gf and tidies his room A LOT now. But the youngest…still awful but my head is better! Screens mind you… that is another massive battle isn’t it!

I’ve realised recently though that I am scared my boys will leave home and never want to see me again because I’m making life miserable. I am hearing their dad’s voice telling me to shut up, get over myself, that I’m over tired, over reacting. I guess I’m now thinking I’m not likeable and they will see it soon. (Sorry bit deep! But do others have this?)

[mum2boys]

Thank you, some wise words (once I put them into google translate!) o try the serenity and since finishing the book ‘The chimp paradox’ am trying to not be too reactive. Also keep reminding myself that the room mess isn’t important enough to impact our relationship. I’m getting there. But sitting downstairs now reading and they are both upstairs!

[mum2boys]

Hello, I am in a similar situation (sxcoet he’s not a particularly great father!) he lives hours away and as we moved for his job, I too am away from friends  and family. It has been this way for 5 years and my boys are certainly better for it. There is stability. It is hard as they don’t know from one visit to the next when they will see there dad and sometimes it has only been a couple of times a year but we manage. Good luck x

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