[Montana2019]

It’s not unreasonable at all. My situation was similar and my advice is to set boundaries early on, I didn’t as I was trying to keep things amicable but it backfired on me. I didn’t realise at the time it was all him & his family trying to control me and push for more access to prevent me from moving to be near my family which they knew I’d always intended to do and tried to get custody via the courts (citing ‘shared care’ even though it was a 30/70% time split). I’d always promoted contact for my sons sake and continued to try to be flexible and amicable but they took me to court after previously saying I was like ‘family’ (all part of the manipulation). I’m not saying all situations are the same but I’d just advise to be mindful and wary and stick to what you’re comfortable with without feeling you have to please everybody, keep your space and your peace. Good luck x

[Montana2019]

Hi there,

I’m new to this forum and your post popped up as one of the top on my feed. I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you have to endure this, in my experience the court system is biased towards fathers and there is continued legal abuse because of this. I want you to know you HAVE NOT failed as a mother, you are wonderful, strong and amazing for doing everything on your own. This is something that is out of your control but you will still continue to be the best mother and your daughter will always know that. I have read so many examples of your situation for women suffering abuse that the court ignore and put the child and mother in danger favouring the concept that ‘a child who has a relationship with both parents will be more stable long term than not’ dismissing every other safeguarding risk in the process.

I am in the middle of a similar situation and the judge has been unbelievably biased to my son’s father. He pays nothing, he takes drugs and drink drives and there has been domestic abuse yet she dismissed it all and sided with him even though there are clear inconsistencies in his ‘story’.

I do hope you are ok and you get through this tough time. Sending hugs xxx

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