[Lyra]

I’ve been unable to get through to gingerbread  or to citizens advice for weeks. I’ve been told if I make an application to CMS he will likely cut off paying electricity and gas in retaliation.

[Lyra]

I have a similar story.. single mum to one. I could do with someone to talk to. I live near Berkshire.

[Lyra]

There is a book called ‘starving the anger gremlin’. It’s a work book and written for older kids, but has useful activities to help talk about anger and how it affects kids. Read ahead first so you can modify to suit the age, but the activities can be done by a 6 year old. I also like the activity book ‘no worries: mindful kids an activity book for children who sometimes feel anxious or stressed’. They help to get them talking and sharing their feelings.

[Lyra]

Hi,

I’m relatively new to this also, and I’ve struggled with my ex’s behaviour. He has also threatened cutting off finances (among other this), however, it’s not in your ex’s best interest to stop paying the mortgage as he will lose the value of the property if he doesn’t. It really is in his best interest to pay it. He is also required to provide a standard of living for you and your children that is similar to the way you have lived. It may seem risky, but the legal costs to sort out finances is more important as this will fund you and your children until they come of age. That’s the most important thing you can do.

You are well within your rights as a mum to set boundaries around when your 8 year old can use the phone. I have an 8 year old too, who now has a phone. Set limits that school work, off screen play and chores need to be completed before they can use the phone and set a specific time to talk to their dad. They should also know the safety rules of being online and using a phone (they could get a crank call at any time). Then the phone goes away.

My situation is a little different from yours, but i hope the above helps.

[Lyra]

Hi TCAC,

I’m sorry to hear what you are going through. It must be very challenging to have experienced so much and to protect your son for so long to end up in the situation you are now. I don’t have any advice but I really feel for you, I hope you find your answer.

[Lyra]

Thanks for the sign posting and the link to government definition. I’m curious what the government post means by:

“<span style=”caret-color: #0b0c0c; color: #0b0c0c; font-family: ‘GDS Transport’, arial, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>You do not always need to get the consent of the other parent for routine decisions, even if they also have parental responsibility.”
</span>

I think play dates, clubs and camps are routine decisions. General doctors appointments are routine. But I also think hiring a tutor or nanny is routine.

He thinks everything needs to be run by him, and I do. But he interrogates for so much detailed information. I feel micro managed, and I’m not his employee. He doesn’t organise any if the routine or necessary things.

Grateful if anyone can shed light, so I don’t have to pay a solicitor and waste money.

[Author]

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