[I.Am.Dad]

Hi Steve

My kids were 11 and 7 when the order was granted, and it took about 6 months from the original court application to the date of the final hearing. I think it was a done deal to be 50/50 really as there was no reason for it not to be, the law quite clearly states that the father has equal rights. I just went belt and braces and took on a solicitor and a barrister to make absolutely sure. I suppose it depends on how your relationship is with the mother, mine is poisonous unfortunately, but I’ve done all I can to make it amicable. It cost me thousands to get to the point of having the order in place (it cost her nothing), but I would spend the money a million times over again to have that piece of paper, just because it guarantees me that time with the kids. I’m sure it also helps with the child maintenance issue, but the judge focused more on who does what (I don’t care for the kids to a lesser extent than the mother, 50/50 or not)

Please message if you need any more help!

[I.Am.Dad]

Hi Chris, won my case, and from how it went I think the judge had made up their mind very early on. My ex had submitted zero evidence whereas I’d sent in well over 100 pages. I also took time off work leading up to the day to fully prepare for the hearing. The judge asked me all the questions first and then asked my ex to confirm what I had said; she couldn’t refute any of it as I was completely honest (even on things that weren’t necessarily in my favour), plus my evidence backed it all up. I don’t think my ex ever had a leg to stand on and her attitude (rude, abrupt, lacking respect for the judge etc.) just served to seal the judgement. The main issue the judge focused on was if I was a ‘non-resident parent’. So providing you can prove that you’re not an absent father, you’re pretty much there. Ensure the school, GP etc all have your address and contact details (didn’t matter that I wasn’t always first point of contact), and make sure you’re paying your way and being involved in all aspects of your child’s life. If you have any more questions feel free to give me a shout.

[I.Am.Dad]

Hi SunnyDance!

The post was titled ‘Camping meet ups next summer?’ from September last year – I should get myself organised to go too!

Hope you have a great time wherever you end up

 

[I.Am.Dad]

Hi! I’m just about to go to my tribunal next week and have identical circumstances to you, apart from I have a court order for 50/50 care (mediation failed) and child benefit is split equally (2 children). It’s now a year since I submitted the SSCS2, so for starters, be prepared for a wait. Once the case was assigned to a judge, about 4 months ago, they then wrote to all parties to request further evidence on top of what was sent at the time the appeal was raised – so I submitted the bulk of my evidence at this stage. I think the idea with the SSCS2 is to just give sufficient evidence to show you have a case for appeal, and from what you’ve said, you have plenty!

I’ll let you know how it goes next week and what evidence they particularly rely on (222 pages worth at the last count, with zero from the receiving parent!), but in the meantime please feel free to message me directly, and I’d also bear in mind regulation 50:

50.—(1) Where the circumstances of a case are that–

(a) an application is made by a person with care under section 4 of the 1991

Act(a); and

(b) the person named in that application as the non-resident parent of the

qualifying child also provides a home for that child (in a different household

from the applicant) and shares the day to day care of that child with the

applicant,

 

the case is to be treated as a special case for the purposes of the 1991 Act.

 

(2) For the purposes of this special case, the person mentioned in paragraph (1)(b)

is to be treated as the non-resident parent if, and only if, that person provides day to

day care to a lesser extent than the applicant.

 

(3) Where the applicant is receiving child benefit in respect of the qualifying child

the applicant is assumed, in the absence of evidence to the contrary, to be providing

day to day care to a greater extent than any other person.”

 

Good luck!!!

[I.Am.Dad]

Thank you! Much appreciated. Hopefully I’ll be successful and can share my experience here for others

[I.Am.Dad]

I started camping with my boys last year and it was great fun – I’ve seen a post on here somewhere about single parents booking on campsites together so they can keep each other company when the kids are off playing 🙂

[I.Am.Dad]

Congratulations! Hope you have a really lovely time. And if I’ve learned one thing from all this, it’s that you can’t beat making memories with your children – all the rest is just noise

[I.Am.Dad]

I work full time, her part time. I would work part time but couldn’t afford to with the debts. I used to get child benefit for both children but she put in a counter claim, which in order to get the payments started again, I asked the child benefit office to split the payments equally. They started out saying I had to pay maintenance for both children, but eventually removed one child and was advised to counter claim for this child – however I tried twice to do so and as soon as I told them it was 50/50 I was told I couldn’t claim! They even agreed with me that is makes no sense that I can’t claim but she can – they’re both our children, they’re both named in the same court order, and we both receive half the child benefit.

My ex wants to claim the money from me just to spite me, she won’t discuss child maintenance with me and just went straight to the CMS to make me pay. I’ve offered to pay half of everything but am now paying child maintenance plus more than half the costs of their clothing, school trips etc.

[I.Am.Dad]

Hi All

I have a 50/50 shared care live with order for my 2 boys and pay for clothing, school trips etc. However the CMS still say I have to pay maintenance even though their own rules say different (They have actually put in writing that they agree the care is equal!). I have a tribunal next week to get an independant decision; does anyone have any experience of the tribunal process?

Unfortunately for the OP, it seems CMS don’t require any evidence from the receiving parent, they just take their word for it. Even though I’ve sent them absolute proof including the court order multiple times, I’m still being told to pay. To make matters worse, my ex left me with over £20k in debts, so even though the amount to pay isn’t huge, I literally can’t afford it and it’s only making the debts bigger. You’d think for the sake of the children they take circumstances into account, but it seems they would sooner financially cripple me which of course will have a knock on effect for the children

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