Thanks for the advice everyone! I’ve tried speaking to him about establishing a routine during his paternity leave to have small and frequent visits to see her and be involved with her routine to build a relationship with her to which he’s being very vague about and trying to avoid the subject appearing to be more interested in telling me I’m awful and how hard his life is the now. I’ve sought advice from my midwife also who has explained that his behaviour may be for a variety of reasons but either way it’s still abusive to be behaving like this towards me and baby and again as you guys have said to limit my exposure to what he’s saying and for those reasons I’ve chosen not to engage in any conversation/texting which isn’t civil and isn’t about the baby. This seems to have helped as it looks like he’s got bored not getting a reaction and barely asks about anything to do with baby now but I still think there may be underlying ideas of court etc which although it terrifies me I can only the now focus on me and baby and getting used to our new life together. I’ve decided I’d rather not have him at birth due to him still being stuck in the mindset of constantly criticising me and making me feel awful and the constant threats which again he’s not really took on board yet but I’m hoping for a miracle that when she’s here he may realise what being a parent is all about – however if he doesn’t then I’ll do what’s best for me and baby and focus on being the best parent I can be for her.
