[Gnasher82]

Afternoon,

I am not local but always willing to chat and listen when things get hard.

Feel free to message if you like

[Gnasher82]

Sorry to hear this and I like many just don’t understand how some parents can be like this.

I split with my ex before we found out she was pregnant, I wasn’t allowed to see her during it, apart from the 1st scan. After that, I heard nothing until he was born. From then on I have had to fight to get access. Finally up to 3 nights a week now. You need to do what’s best for you and your little one, regardless of his views but it can also be hard to juggle that. I have seen plenty of people want no interaction with the kids but will still try and control the other parent.

[Gnasher82]

Hi, single dad here. Hope you are doing well? I have a 4yr old son

[Gnasher82]

Might be best to try and have a proper chat with her son and see where his head is at and piece together the night. He will more than likely be feeling the same and in a way you can help each other reset after what happened

[Gnasher82]

AFternoon,

Sorry to hear she is making it so hard. I was in a similar place since the moment my son was born (now 4yrs old). Even before he was born she made life hard, we managed to agree to me having him every weekend, as this gave her weekends off from my son and her other son. I kept pushing for more time with him, holidays and each year swapping Christmas and new years.

She tried to drop my nights with him and I told her I would go to court over it. Something I knew she didn’t want or could afford. I make sure I keep all messages between her and me and limit talk to electronic only.

Some parents are all talk until push comes to shove and you take a stand. It’s hard being the one to back down and do the hard work but it pays off. Also depending on the ages of the kids, a lot of it is down to them when it comes to court. So if she isn’t allowing them to see you when they want to, that will go against her.

[Gnasher82]

You’re welcome, glad I could help. We all need a push from time to time, trust me I need lots of them hahaha

And that’s important, you will heal but you have to take the steps to get that, which is the hard part.

Always here if you need to chat and vent.

[Gnasher82]

It comes down to their understanding of the situation and their wants and needs. Why they don’t want to stop and seeing if it is an issue that can be tackled. Even a court will allow a child their chance to speak and put their point accross.

Take a look at this from the NSPCC, explains it a lot better than I can.

https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/child-protection-system/gillick-competence-fraser-guidelines

 

[Gnasher82]

Hey so sorry to hear this, it’s never easy when there is a split.

As much as you want to and need to put your daughter first, you also need to look after yourself. If you are in a bad way, it will impact what you can do for her. It is a balancing act, unfortunately.
Give yourself a little time for it to settle in your head, it won’t fully but it is still very new.  You need a little you time.
From there, reach out to CAB or a local charity that can talk through your options, when it comes to money and support. I found doing my own budget helped me to settle my worries about money.

In the beginning, it is scary, overwheliming and you feel so alone but this will pass and you will soon be doing your best again.

Hope that helps a little, around to chat if and when you want

[Gnasher82]

I believe that if they leave school at 16 then they stop. If they are in college then it stops at 20………ish. I think haha

[Gnasher82]

hey srroy to hear this, you need to do whats best for you and the kids. It is a hard line to walk.

My ex and I only use WhatsApp, we are not on each other’s social media. I don’t need to see what she gets up to and she doesn’t want/need to see what I am doing. For your own mental health I would suggest you get rid of his social media and as hard as it is, push what he might be doing from your mind. It is hard at the start but you will soon find you don’t think about him at all

[Gnasher82]

Sorry to hear she has made it harder. It seems to be the way that the parent with the most contact gets it worse from the kids unfortunatlly. Sometimes it’s a case of riding it out and as you say…. Wine haha

[Gnasher82]

oh no, they got there quick, take after you??? hahaha

My boy likes to take charge, even with a lot older kids

[Gnasher82]

Cool, I have traveled around a lot, only been in Suffolk since 2017.  ohhhhh 7&9, not long left till the first teen years, good luck haha

Oh I know that feeling, when he goes back to his mums I hate it

Feel free to PM if you like btw

[Gnasher82]

Ah nice, never been that way before. You always been there?  How old are your boys? mine is 4.

Can’t beat a bit of chaos and mayhem. Crazy for the win haha

[Gnasher82]

ohhh poor mummy haha you against two boys, bet that was full-on crazy hahaha  I am in Suffolk you?

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