[freyasmom]

I have been in the exact same situation with my ex. From my experience this is always a bad idea. It means boundaries are constantly crossed and feel like you have no escape from them. You never get any peace and quiet from them and sometimes it effects new relationships too. My daughter is only a baby but maybe if your children are a bit older they could speak to him on the phone before bed so that way you dont have to speak to him? How old are your children? What sort of things is he asking you? I think you should definitely set some boundaries and if he doesnt like it then you can block him and he can take it up with a solicitor. I hope you manage to sort this x

[freyasmom]

He is 24 (nearly 25) and he works cash in hand as a labourer. He regularly takes days off and tells his boss its for his daughter, however never sees her on the days he takes off. He picked her up yesterday for his first visit in 3 weeks however requested we collected her 2 hours later instead of 4 and also tried to change the time. We asked him if the time he requested was going to be the new time going forward and he said he can only commit to set times during the week and at weekends we need to plan around his plans. I obviously refused this but i don’t understand why she isnt a priority to him and it upsets me that she hasnt got the same sort of dad that i have. I guess im the only person to blame for that though. All i want is what is best for her and i dont know where the limit is where after that i will have to pull the plug on his behaviour.

What would everyone suggest about weekday visits? She will be in nursery till 6 (4 days a week) from September so on his weekday visit it will be 6-8. She has recently been falling asleep on her own between 6:30-7pm and im worried that she is going to be overtired after being in nursery from 7:30 with only 1 nap, and then being kept awake till 8:30 (20 minute drive home from his house) We also do activities as a family on a saturday, where my mum, dad and sisters all go out to places like sealife, cheshire oaks etc and dont want freya to miss out, so i dont want to suggest he has her both weekend days (this also isnt fair on him) but i think the weekday visits are going to be too much for her.

[freyasmom]

Thank you for your reply. I just don’t know whether i’m doing right for doing wrong, he goes round telling everyone that i don’t allow him to see his daughter. Last weekend his mum cornered me in Aldi and said I am making him depressed by not letting him see her, even though he had seen her the day before and not told her. I have never stopped him from seeing her, and have Infact encouraged it. I just feel extremely hurt for the way he has treated both of us, i have PTSD from my birth and nearly died during an emergency c-section. He missed all of that and left me to look after a newborn baby with 60 stitches. I know that he will let her down a lot in the future but i am so scared he will try and take her away from me. I dont think he will pay for court however the thought of it really scares me.

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