[doublemint44]

Urgh I hope you can nip this in the bud and get what’s owed to you….. CMS do not have the best track record with regards to effectively sorting these issues…. it always seems that the person owed the money is the one who must do all the chasing/evidence gathering/calling constantly (I have spent hours and hours on the phone, and rarely get the same answer twice)

in my case my ex and I had an informal agreement after we split up, he paid me £600 for the first few months (when son was 1 and attending nursery full time), then he dropped it to £400 because he started a new job and wasn’t earning any commission, but promised when he did he would put the money up again, never happened…. after about a year it dropped to £250 then he dropped it again because his partner was pregnant?!!?! He then started delaying payments (I think he did this as a form of control- he would do things like send the money and put things like “your beer money” as the payment reference….. or if the payment was due on a Thurs/Fri he would purposely wait til after the weekend, like I was out partying and using his money to fund it!!! Yeah right, with a full time job, and a 3 year old to look after 24/7 and family 2 hours away- if I EVER got a free night I would be in bed for 10pm ha ha)

Eventually the time between my son seeing his Dad got less and less- from every weekend, then every other…. then after he had another child, and finally he could go 10 weeks without seeing him, because it was never convenient, he had a Man U game to watch, his wife was working, they were taking their child out for the day (my son was never included in these days out, he wasn’t even invited to their wedding, which his half sister was flower girl at)- and he wonders why my son never felt included, or part of their family!! One weekend my son was a bit difficult, getting upset because he missed me, saying he didn’t feel welcome, all the things I predicted and voiced to him would happen eventually if he didn’t start putting in more effort- and that was it, he hasn’t seen him since!!! Clearly decided that it was too much effort, so just never saw him again (May will be 4 years since he saw him)- never texts to ask how he is doing, no birthday/Xmas cards etc absolutely NOTHING.

He continued paying for a few months, again messing about over the amount (always sending less than agreed so I would have to text and ask for the rest- something I despised doing, but as a single Mum I hated it, but I relied on the money from him) – I warned him several times if he carried on doing this I would have to go through the CMS as I needed to rely on the money for various things for our son- so in the end that’s what I did, and I ended up getting way more than our informal arrangement, so he shot himself in the foot there!!

Fast forward a couple of years, during the COVID pandemic and my usual payment is late, so I (begrudgingly) send him a text to get an almost gleeful response that he “is no longer at his job”- not “I have lost my job” or “I have left for another job”, so I questioned him and got nothing. CMS have been informed, he states he has no form of income and he is financially dependent on his wife…. what a guy!!! Turns out he left his job willingly, to set up his own recruitment company, with his own website, showing his personal contact details, the registered address is his home address, so no denying its him!  He is advertising jobs daily with staggering annual salaries of £100k plus, and being in Recruitment myself I know he could easily command 10-12.5% of this as his fee……..  But apparently this is insufficient evidence that he is working……

Apparently if you have a deadbeat ex who refuses to pay, the burden of proof falls upon the receiving parent (so be prepared to have them ask YOU to prove your ex partners income, rather than asking HIM) ….. every time they write to him and say he has to pay, he waits until the day payment is due to contact them- and state he has no income- this has happened at least 4 times- I get a letter saying I will receive £400 (they always give the paying parent a good 2 months before this payment is due) and then the day its due I find out he has rang to say he isn’t working, or he is on benefits… and by the time they have looked into anything it all changes again. Currently I am owed over £4,800 in arrears, the last payment I got was in February 2021 for £6.87- how does he think his child survives?! I pay for absolutely everything for that child, school meals, afterschool club so I can work full time, holiday clubs, clothes, food, other activities which I cant really afford but I don’t want him missing out, and don’t see why he should miss out just because huis Dad is a waste of skin……. so many times over the past 2 years I have thought forget it, give it up- but why should he decide, on a whim, to cease contact, and then decide he shouldn’t support his son financially either? It all seems like a big game to him, its quite sadistic in the way he purposely waits until the day payment is due to say he cant pay, if he isn’t working, he has 2 months to inform them, so why wait til the day of??

I really hope you can get your situation sorted now, I would hate anyone else to go through what I am- 2 years later and absolutely NO closer to getting a penny from him….. so I wish you all the luck in getting what you are owed!!!!!

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