[coolcat24]

Please try to be strong for your little one, it sounds like he needs you and your love. Keep voicing up and hope you’ll be taken seriously eventually. Can you ask for an urgent GP or crisis appointment for your mental health struggles? Today may not feel so bright, but tomorrow is a fresh new day xx

[coolcat24]

Thank you so much. Not sure how I’ll respond when they next want to chat, I think some distance is needed to protect myself as it isn’t the first time in all of this that they’ve said something hurtful.xx

[coolcat24]

I’m sure you’re trying your best in the circumstances. It sounds like your daughter is emotionally intelligent and is being brave to prevent you from becoming upset. As a child who supported a close relative with mental health issues at around this age, I’d suggest you reassure your daughter that you’re always there for her if she wants to chat or there’s something on her mind. Also try to make time for fun things and laughter to balance out the tougher times.

As she approaches puberty you may want to consider whether there’s a trusted female relative or older friend for her to confide in about things she may not want to discuss with her dad.x

[coolcat24]

Hello

I absolutely understand your feelings in relation to a partner with depression. I was with my ex partner for over ten years, he was up and down all the time often stayed in bed all day, sometimes barely ate or drank anything, was suicidal at times. It’s incredibly draining, difficult to deal with and must have been even harder for you with children in the picture. I thought that I needed to stay to look after him and ‘fix him’ but of course it isn’t that easy. I chose to stay in touch with him after we went our separate ways to check on his wellbeing every so often and when you’re with someone for so long as you suggested you are connected somehow. He was out of work and we had to remain living together for a while before he could afford to move out.
Have you both decided to leave some of his possessions at your home, or hasn’t it been spoken about? My ex left a lot of his clothes behind and I eventually persuaded him to sort through them but a lot went to charity.
I would say you can try your best and guide someone on the right path and to invest in their wellbeing but you aren’t responsible for his state of mind, harsh as it may sound he’s going to need to be independent and choose to seek help and making choices to benefit his mental wellbeing.

I suspect that you may come to realise in time the extent that living with and supporting someone with depression has affected you and you may need to take time to build yourself back up and be kind to yourself.

Sending love,

Feel free to message me xx

[coolcat24]

I suppose it all depends on your outgoings and financial commitments but that sounds like a lot left to play with after paying rent.x

[coolcat24]

Please reach out for help from your GP urgently or any local mental health charities etc. You may feel like this now but the future can be brighter and good things to come. You are loved and valued so much more than you realise.
Of you’re up to it practice self care, something to make you smile whether it’s a warm bubble bath, walk in the park, some chocolate, a good book watch a film, treat yourself etc. Sending love xxx

[coolcat24]

Thanks for your replies xx

[coolcat24]

Hi Lizzie,

Sorry you’re feeling lonely. I’d definitely take time for self care and surround yourself with positive people and energy. Maybe that is your ex’s coping strategy- his walls go up, he puts on a strong, impenetrable front; it doesn’t mean he’s actually feeling nothing, just masking perhaps.

Slightly different for me as in all honesty our relationship must have been in a bad way for years looking back, even the friendship aspect. So it’s more if a relief and I’m craving space and time to reevaluate. Think it’ll be occasions like birthdays and Christmas that will be tough for me.

Best wishes for brighter days xx

[coolcat24]

Thank you. Yes it’s the right decision for us as a couple. Just obviously fearful of how it will impact our young child. I’m just shocked at how my parents have reacted, they keep saying how hard things will be for me going forward, which I don’t think is very supportive and helpful.x

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