Hi I’m extremely new to this situation too, my husband works away and only comes home a few times a year for a week or two. I accidentally found out he’s been having an affair for the past 6months+ yesterday after spending 2 weeks in England he flew back leaving his iPad- I had a feeling something wasn’t right and I found all the WhatsApp messages between them. He showered her with gifts flying over to her in the USA, him flying her over to him, getting hotel rooms he went to nyc with her, something we always talked of doing together, holidays together the lot. I have been with him since I was 17, I’m 35 now married 7 years. We have three kids. He told her he was getting a divorce, she wants marriage and babies and he was open to that with her, she has no idea he lied. Ive obviously found her on ever platform and informed her of the situation. Our relationship has always been toxic, I’ve been gaslighted the whole time I think, made me think I’m going mad, always accursed me of cheating when it was him all along. Thing is I love him and it’s all I’ve ever known. But I know I deserve better and can’t go back for me or the kids, it sounds like she wasn’t the first looking at other messages either. He wants to talk but no idea what to say. He is apparently back in England for good in 2 weeks, something I knew nothing about, I’ve been kept in the dark constantly in our relationship. No idea where to go from here. Any advice appreciated, but really I just needed to vent. I’ve said nothing to anyone yet, he Asked me if I can hold off untill he gets back in 2 weeks and I’m willing to do that not that he deserves anything from me but I want to be the bigger person and definitely not give any trauma to my kids
