[Anon321]

Ps….if she did decide to take you to court, I doubt very much that she would get very far, as you aren’t stopping her from having contact at all. She lives with your ex and has the ability to see your child alternate weekends. It’s not like she’s having no contact at all. I wouldn’t worry about her threats xx

[Anon321]

I can completely understand both sides here. A lot depends on circumstances and personalities. If you have/had a good relationship with her and it’s just a one off then I would bend but explain that it’s a one off as it’s up to your son to facilitate contact between your child and her and this encroaches on your time with her. But if she’s the kind of person that if you give her an inch, she’ll keep taking more and more…I would say create a precedence – stick to your suggestion and your boundary and explain the reasons why. Hope this helps xx

[Anon321]

Hello, When this happened to me it didn’t reach court in the end. But my solicitor advised me that Courts now like people to not be financially dependant on each other (money tied up in property etc) and like them to have a clean break. My child was 1 at the time and my solicitor told me that it was unrealistic and very unlikely that Court would grant a mesher order for us to stay in the property until little one was 18 (super sorry!). What they did say was though, that I would likely get a shorter mesher order to enable me to get finances in place for another property. I requested a mesher order until child started school (age 5). Like I said, mine didn’t get that far, but so sorry 🙁 years ago they used to grant mesher orders until child reaches 18, it’s very uncommon now apparently xxx

[Anon321]

I’ve had it before and felt ok. Passiflora is good too xx

[Anon321]

I’m so sorry, I have no advice, but I just wanted to message and give you a big virtual hug. Sounds like you’ve done everything you possibly could xx

[Anon321]

All i would say is, if you feel it, then ask and find out if they’re on the right page. My then ex and I separated for 2 years, not overly nicely may i add. Solicitors were involved and just short of a week before the COA we reconciled and have been together ever since x

[Anon321]

He technically doesn’t have to pay half the mortgage even though his names against it. He only has to pay you child maintenance x

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by Anon321.

[Anon321]

If you had stayed in the property you could have said you had no where to go, fought and tried to appy for a mesher order (you probs wouldn’t have got until your child was 18 though as courts like a clear financial split). But given that you are already technically housed at your mums, I highly doubt you would get this. I’m really sorry x

[Anon321]

I’m not sure re your situation sorry. But in terms of mine, my ex hid a mental health diagnosis from me. He denied he had a condition. The court ordered a medical report, it stated that he was diagnosed with said condition 19 years ago (10 years before he met me). I would say they wouldn’t tell him directly, but it could be requested by court if he bought it up.

[Anon321]

He’s demanding to have your child every weekend….unless it suits you all, stand up and say ‘no’ lovely. Don’t let him bully you, seek some legal advice and get a CAO and some boundaries in place xx

[Anon321]

Technically the status quo should remain the same financially until everything’s sorted. So you should continue to still pay as you were else this could get brought up in court

[Anon321]

Single parenting…double the work, but double the cuddles and kisses. You’ve got this. Having my baby was the best thing I ever did. Granted its hard. But believe me, it’s so worth it. Concentrate more on the baby and yourself and less on your ex. Try and enjoy each moment as time goes so quick and you cant get it back xx

[Anon321]

My husband left when our baby was 2.5 weeks old. He got legal involved. I offered him a couple of hours at my house with the baby twice a week (me in a different room and he wasn’t breastfed), he didn’t like it and took it legal. I gradually increased contact and then first overnight took place when he was about 18 months old (this was me offering it, my solicitor advised me that I could probably hold off over nights until he was about 2 years old). Courts like to do gradual steps like you are suggesting, but they do like it all quite fast paced. I hope this helps, and I’m also sorry that you have to go through this during pregnancy / early birth. Enjoy your baby as best you can as you never get this time back xxx

[Anon321]

I’m not 100% sure sorry. It hasn’t happened to me but I know it did to my friend. I would say to seek legal advice, I think it was via the courts xx

[Anon321]

From my understanding you would need a ‘lives with and lives with’ 50/50 court order. If you have a 50/50 court order which states that the children live with the main parent and has contact with the other (even if this is 50/50) then you you still have to pay maintenance. If you have a 50/50 court order which states that the children live with one parent and also live with the other, no maintenance is required.

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