Thank you both for such compassionate responses. They are a real comfort at a haunting time.
It’s a good point about the calls. At the moment they are completely initiated by my son; he asks his dad to ‘see’ me but they end in either my son trying to climb into the phone and getting upset, or he just asks me to play if his dad isn’t engaging and I feel like a very awkward virtual babysitter. I’ve never asked for the calls but I always answer if they ring as I know it’s due to my son asking. It can be 4/5 times a day at peaks, and always after his dad and I have had a more challenging conversation the calls disappear completely for a week or two so I can only assume he prevents them.
The invisible string book has been the biggest help so far, and I’ve supplemented it with a UV pen and torch to help him understand the concept. We draw hearts on our hands with them before I go, and he can check in on his heart picture when I’m gone and know it’s still there. I just wish I had better answers for him when he aks why he can’t come back to mine.
You’ve given me courage to keep pursuing the child-led, flexible approach and I hope with time, calm and openness we might be able to at least trial some alternative ways of managing.
Thank you both and sending hope and gratitude to you 🙂
