[Ayamurben]

Hi Morgan,

Difficult situation what you have but believe me, as you can see here, there are so many people in such a bad situation that sometimes we have to think that ours is not that bad even when for us is the worse moment in our life. Thanks God we are here to support each others!

You know that advices are very easy to give and very difficult to accomplish. Groucho Marx said: “How easy will be our life if we can share our problems. Everyone knows how to resolve your problem but noone knows how to resolve their owns”

I do not know what to do in your situation to be honest but what I would try first, contact with her family and explain the situation (probably her family is aware of this situation). We don’t want that after doing the best for our children, something completely different goes to our family in law where everything will be our fault.

I will recommend divorce without giving a second chance, of course. She can see that if you take everthing serious she will lose a lot of things even when at the beginning she will think she is gaining. At that time, probably she will say sorry but it won’t be  true, just for her own conveniences.

Speak with her parent, speak with the policy in case one day something happen, and explain the situation. She is leaving your house to spend the weekend out. You don’t even know what she is doing. I want to say this with all my respect, but do not trust her anymore!

Second and once get divorce, obviously get the girls with you and offer the life her mum will never can give them. Start a new life and try to be happy. If you are a good father, a good person, you will find your path.

My situation not the same but the title you named this article define my life too.

Been bully at work for people you helped, at home for your partner, the one you spent 17 years together thinking you are the best dad and husband but apparently and after buying house she told you that you destroyed her life, the worse thing (no even person, “thing”) that happen in her life, when you helped her to get everything she is and she have, and now, as you are, I’m lost, I don’t now what to do, I do not want to be in that job anymore, we are still living together but any comment is an argun for her, with 3 kids saying that I’m right, she blame me for drinking when I don’t drink…believe me, a very stressful situation at work and at home. I spend 24/7 thinking about my relation and about my job, I do not enjoy weekends or even evenings….

For me is clear. I need to leave my job and my wife (we are not merried but after 17 years with 3 kids…). The problem is that Ihave to keep my job otherwise we can not afford to pay the morgage, her morgage, because since we bought this house, I was feeling is not mine.

I went to my GP for some help because I feel I’m getting crazy and my GP refered me to someone who recommended this group. Not sure if I can get the help that I need but at least, I can see more people with problems and if I can help at least with a talk, it will help me too.

Sorry for my english.

All the best Morgan. Groucho Marx was right. I can solve your problem if you can solve mine!

Take care and be strong. You are doing everything right. And I do not even know you!

Ayamurben

 

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