[2Flowers]

That’s amazing Claire2804! Well done for sticking with it. Hopefully when your review is due they will take all of this into account.

I’ve just had my annual review and of course his earnings have mysteriously gone down this year. Despite claims to his children that his company is worth £10million!!!  So full of s***!

Anyway, they are fully over him and only really go there out of duty and for the ‘stuff’ he provides. He claims I’ve alienated them…take the credit man, it’s all your own work!! He does himself no favours but can’t see it.

Onwards ladies…! X

[2Flowers]

@Nat Lou I really feel for you. I honestly don’t know how they justify it or live with themselves!
This is one situation I haven’t had to deal with SO FAR but my best advice is to get on the phone to CMS and tell them what has happened. They are not fond of deliberate attempts to evade payment.
Top tips…make notes before you call so you cover everything you want to. Ring at 8am so you are first in the queue and don’t have to wait in one for hours. Don’t be rushed off the call…you must make sure you have understood what your next steps are. Make more notes about what they tell you.
Good luck and keep us posted!

[2Flowers]

Morning all,

I read all the posts yesterday and it just makes me so sad and angry that we all have to go through this.
As much as I’d posted that I was all sorted for the year, of course he spoke to them and said he couldn’t afford to pay that much and has renegotiated the arrears payments down from £200 a month to £10 a month. So £4200+ of arrears is getting paid back at £10 a month. The ‘bit extra’ I thought I had to pay back money I borrowed while he was paying less than £100 a month has gone and I’m left to stew on that for another year.
I already feel anxious about the financial gymnastics he will be performing to make his income shrink for this years tax return.
The fact that they’d rather ‘win’ and still be in control over actually providing for their children goes a long way to explaining why they are ex husbands I guess!
What’s so very irritating is that the arrears in my case only exist because it took CMS 8 months to review the variation. If that had been automatically included, or even reviewed in a more timely manner, it never would have built up to this point.
Anyway, keep taking strength from each other and good luck all xxx

[2Flowers]

Hi @RicaH this sounds all too familiar and horrendous for you. My honest response is what have you got to lose? My ex was basically livid that he could no longer control me so tried to make life difficult. Well, f*** that sh**!!! I cannot tell you how worth it it’s been to go from our original arrangement of £250 a month, to £91.55 after I went through CMS and was waiting for the variation to be investigated, to almost £1k a month now. I literally don’t care what he says or thinks about me. His behaviour is undeniable and other than his immediate family I’m fairly sure everyone will realise that he is not being honest about what has happened. But, I don’t care. I now have enough to send my girls on school trips and I just ordered them the GOOD PE joggers instead of the £10 Asda version!

You need to speak to your solicitor and tell them you didn’t authorise the work they did so won’t be paying. HE is not their client – you are. If they chose to work for him, they should bill him!

Amd get started on the CMS stuff asap. It takes AGES. Get all the information you can about his income and how he pays himself and tell them everything. If he is completing a tax return due to dividend income, they will (eventually!!) take it into account. If that doesn’t work, go for a mandatory reconsideration and they can do a forensic financial investigation. So you need to tell them about his lifestyle and how it is incompatible with his declared earnings. They will also investigate if his earnings suddenly drop for no good reason as they will suspect he’s hiding or diverting income

Will it make him angry? Probably. Is he already horrid? Yes. So what’s the difference?? Mine would send ranty emails but I stopped responding. He was threatening to use whatever I said against me so I just didn’t answer. My response was “sorry, was there a question?” Which there wasn’t. He was just venting. He now hardly contacts me as I’ve shown I wouldn’t react or back down. And now the children are old enough that their wishes are taken into account and he’s given up with threats of court.

Good luck and keep us posted!!

[2Flowers]

That sounds positive @cocobeach…maybe they are actually getting their act together a bit…🤞🏼

[2Flowers]

Morning all,

I’m bringing a positive story in the hope it brings you all hope too.

Annual review is due today and I got a text at 8am to say it was done! And that my payments are going up. For the next year, I will be getting more than 10 times what I got last year! That does include arrears payments, but even the basic was significantly higher.

I’m honestly just so RELIEVED that I don’t have to deal with it all again. I had fully expected a struggle, based on previous experience.

Stay strong ladies, and I hope you all find light at the end of the tunnel xx

[2Flowers]

Hi @Morrigan ,

Sorry, I have no experience with this side of the variation process but wish you luck!

The entire system is an absolute nonsense and not fit for purpose. Having waited 8 months to get mine sorted, I’m only a few weeks away from my annual review and now have to go through the anxiety of wondering if and by how much he will have managed to conceal his income this year. I hope it’s a quick answer as not being able to plan financially for the year ahead is torture.

Good luck and fingers crossed it gets sorted for you soon x

 

[2Flowers]

It has happened!!! Missed a call from the CMS yesterday but thankfully all the letters were on my account this morning.

Variation has been accepted, payments should now go from £21 a week to £137 a week. The arrears were £4321.20 (that 20p counts!) and is going to be paid back over the next 4 months. So June – September I’ll get £1572.80 instead of £91.55!! It even says they’ve agreed the repayment of the arrears with him so I know it will happen.

I am so chuffing relieved it’s sorted. Well, until the annual review in 24th September and then we can find out whether he’s tried to hide more of his income…but I’m not going to think about that for a while yet!!!

[2Flowers]

FireLeo77 I think we might have been married to the same person…you have summed it up perfectly!!

[2Flowers]

Hi FireLeo77,

Completely agree with everything you’ve said. The knot in my stomach just never goes away. I’m due an annual review in September which is an absolute JOKE as they haven’t even sorted it out for last year yet, and I also anticipate a sudden fall in income! I guess I’ll have to face that when it happens.

He’s told the children he earns £800 a day and is thinking of selling his company, which would give him £3,000,000 once it’s shared between the three owners. But pays me £91.55 a month for 2 teenagers. His desire to ‘win’ out weighs interest in his children’s quality of life it seems.

Anyway, fingers crossed, chin up, chest out and keep going…x

[2Flowers]

So, predictably I hadn’t heard by ‘this time next week’ so I called this morning. Got through to someone in ‘contingencies’ although not really sure what that is. Again, very nice helpful chap.

I was never going to get a decision by today, because the representation letter they sent to my ex was blank. He wrote back with a sarcastic reply. And nothing happened. The lady last week didn’t notice any of that, hence her reassurance. So now they start again and resend a letter, he has 14 days to respond and I wait. I’m just so drained by it all.

I did mention that I’d heard making a complaint was the way most people seemed to get a resolution and he agreed and opened a complaint straight away for me. It’s now 8 months since I started the process and I’m 3 months over their deadline for sorting the variation. Had a little cry on the phone to him, we were both embarrassed, and I go back to sitting and waiting with my fingers crossed.

He did also mention that even if they are diverting income into a pension, really they will only let them have £35k per year, and that more than that can be considered diversion of income. Might be worth some of you knowing… x

[2Flowers]

Hi everyone,

Having waited another 2 months since I heard my ex had declared his dividend earnings and still having heard nothing, I forced myself to make the call this afternoon and a case worker said I was well over the time quoted to me (by nearly 3 months!!) so she was passing my case straight to the variations team and that I should hear by this time next week. Apparently they are in doing overtime at the weekend!

I resisted the urge to scream IF YOU ASKED FOR THEIR TOTAL INCOME IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU WOULDN’T EVEN NEED A VARIATION TEAM because she seemed nice and I really want her to not shred my application!! So, I’m back to waiting, but maybe just a week.

My fingers ache from being crossed all the time, but 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

[2Flowers]

Brilliant news Claire! Gives us all hope! X

[2Flowers]

FireLeo77 that is just amazing news! And brilliant that the backdated bit isn’t dragged out forever too! I hope he doesn’t argue with it.
Now, go book a holiday!! X

[2Flowers]

Hi all, thought I’d do a quick update…

My 22 weeks was up on 7th March, nothing happened, BUT I did then hear from them on 27th March. They had sent a letter to my ex and he has now declared £47k in dividends. I still think he earns more (he’s told the children he does and his lifestyles definitely says he does!) but I have lost the will to argue so accepted it, but just asked that they make sure the PAYE and self assessment info comes from the same tax year. I’m yet to hear back about a decision, future payments or backdated payments, but I feel some relief that it might be happening soon.

Hang in there everyone x

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