A parent dying is one of the hardest things a young person can go through and it can be really tough to understand or make sense of how you feel.

You might experience a mix of emotions—sadness, confusion, fear, anger, guilt, relief, or even feel numb or empty. All of these feelings are part of grief, and there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. Whatever you’re feeling is completely OK.

Grief can also affect you physically. You might struggle with sleeping, lose your appetite, or have headaches or stomach aches, for instance.

Everyone reacts differently to loss. How you feel could depend on your relationship with your parent, how they died or even how your family views death.

But remember, you don’t have to face this alone. There are plenty of places that offer support if you need it. No matter how you’re feeling right now, things can get better. This page provides some ideas that might help and shares places where you can find more support.

It’s good to talk

Ask for help

Talking about how you’re feeling can be tough, but it can really help you feel better in the long run. You might want to keep everything to yourself or feel like you can’t trust others. While it might seem easier to bottle things up, doing so can actually make those feelings harder to handle.

That doesn’t mean you have to talk about everything all the time. But when you’re ready, it can help to open up to someone you trust. This could be:

• A family member
• A close friend
• A teacher you feel comfortable with
• Someone who has experienced a similar loss
• A counselor—your school may have one, or you could ask your doctor for a referral

As well as talking about your feelings, it’s important to ask for help when you need it. You might need some time alone, something to distract you, or even just a comforting hug.

Sometimes, others may not know what to say or do because they don’t want to upset you, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care. If you feel like you need support, try to let people know what you need. If it’s too difficult to say it in person, you could send a message or write an email instead.

You’re not alone

Here are some places where you can get help from people who really understand. 

• Child Bereavement UK can help you in lots of different ways, including apps, games, support services, and friendship groups.
• TalkGrief has blogs and podcasts to help you come to terms with a death. Most of the advice here is from young people who have dealt with death themselves.
• Hope Again is a place where you can learn from other young people about how they’ve coped with death. You can also get support from trained counsellors over the phone and by email. 
• Grief Encounter offers advice through their website, helpline and chat service. They also have counselling, workshops and fun days out.
• YoungMinds is for young people who are struggling with their mental health. They have very useful guide on managing grief and loss.
• The Mix helps young people over the phone, through webchat and email. You can access a counsellor through them and use talk to them by text if you’re really hurting or feeling desperate.