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Dealing with a death

Coping with family life after the death of someone close to you or your children can be incredibly difficult. 

You’ll no doubt have practical arrangements to make – and also be dealing with your family’s grief at the same time. This page gives advice and guidance that you might find useful in dealing with a death.

Getting emotional support

What to do and when – quick guide

Talking to family and friends

Taking time off work

Registering the death

Letting the government know

Telling other organisations

Arranging the funeral

Dealing with the estate

Getting financial help

If you need to speak to someone, either for emotional or practical support, you can talk to us.

Getting emotional support

It’s important to get support for yourself, as well as supporting your children. Take time to talk with your children about your own feelings, as well as theirs. You’ll probably all be dealing with lots of changes to your daily lives, and this can be extremely unsettling.

The advice here is for you as a parent. We have another page especially for children who have lost a parent. 

As well as the emotional support options we’ve suggested here for you and your family, you might want to find in-person support where you live. Your doctor should be able to help you do this, or you can check the Good Grief Trust.

Looking after your family

Every child reacts differently to loss, but spending time together as a family will help you understand what your children need. Here are a few organisations that specialise in helping families find their feet again after a death:

Looking after yourself

You might feel that you don’t need support outside of your family and friends. But some people find it helpful to talk to someone removed from the situation. If you think grief counselling might be useful, speak to your GP about a referral. You can also get low-cost or free counselling through organisations such as the National Bereavement Partnership, Sue Ryder or Cruse.

You might also want to look at:

What to do and when – quick guide

A checklist of important tasks when a partner dies. There’s a very helpful step-by-step guide on what to do when someone dies on gov.uk, and Citizens Advice also has useful information on what to do after a death.

Right away
  • Tell friends and family 
  • Tell their employer 
  • Arrange time off work 
Within a few days
  • Register the death within 5 days
  • Buy extra death certificates when you register  
  • Make funeral arrangements (unless there’s an inquest, which can delay things) 
  • Tell the government about the death using Tell Us Once – this will notify any government organisation that needs to know
Within a couple of weeks
  • Contact other organisations, like: 
    • Banks
    • Pension scheme providers 
    • Insurance companies 
    • Mortgage provider, housing association or council housing office 
    • Utility companies 
    • GP, dentist, optician and anyone else providing medical care 
    • Mobile phone company 
    • Anyone they made regular payments to (like subscription services, charities) 
    • The Bereavement Register to take their name off mailing lists
  • Claim financial support 
    • Benefits, including bereavement support 
    • Life insurance 
Later on
  • Deal with their estate 

Talking to friends and family

Talking to your children about what has happened will undoubtedly be difficult. Try to use simple, clear language, be truthful, and encourage them to ask questions. Answer as honestly as you can, and avoid using euphemisms like “passed away” or “no longer with us,” as these can be confusing, especially for young children.

When it comes to informing others, you don’t have to handle this alone. You can ask a close friend or family member to take care of it for you, so you can focus on yourself and your children. Some people prefer calling close friends and relatives individually, while others might send a group message or email to more distant family and friends. Marie Curie offers helpful advice on how to share the news of a death.

Taking time off work

After the death of your child’s other parent, you’ll likely want to spend time with your children. Check with your employer to see if they offer additional time off, known as compassionate leave, which may be paid. While there’s no legal entitlement to compassionate leave, many employers provide it. If yours doesn’t, you could request paid annual leave or consider taking sick leave if you’re not ready to return to work.

You may also need to adjust your work schedule to fit your new circumstances. Visit our page on your right to time off work for tips on how to discuss options with your employer.

Registering the death

Deaths must typically be registered within 5 days (including weekends and bank holidays) at the nearest register office. This is usually done by a relative of the deceased. You can find guidance on how to register a death on gov.uk’s page.

When you go to the register office, you’ll need to bring the medical certificate signed by a doctor, which shows the cause of death. It’s also helpful to bring the deceased person’s:

  • Birth certificate 
  • NHS medical card or number 
  • Marriage or civil partnership certificate 
  • Driving licence 
  • Council Tax bill
  • Passport
  • Proof of address

You’ll have to tell the registrar: 

  • The person’s full name (and any other names they had, such as a maiden name) 
  • Their date and place of birth 
  • Their date and place of death 
  • Their usual address 
  • Their most recent occupation 
  • Whether or not they were getting any benefits, including State Pension
  • The name, occupation, and date of birth of their spouse or civil partner 

When you register the death, you’ll receive:

  • A Certificate for Burial or Cremation (the ‘green form’), which you’ll need for the funeral director or crematorium

  • A Certificate of Registration of Death (form BD8), which you may need to return if the person was receiving benefits or a State Pension (the form comes with a prepaid envelope for easy return)

In some cases, a death is reported to the coroner, usually when the cause of death is unclear or due to something like an accident, overdose, or suicide. This could require different documents to register the death. For more details, visit gov.uk’s page on when a death is reported to the coroner and the Coroners’ Courts Support Service.

It’s a good idea to order extra death certificates, as you’ll need them for things like handling the will, claiming pensions, and accessing savings. It’s best to purchase several copies when registering, as it can be more expensive to buy them later.

Letting the government know

Once you receive the death certificate, you’ll need to inform government organisations and the local council as soon as possible. Fortunately, you only need to do this once by using the Tell Us Once service. The details you provide will be shared with all relevant government departments.

While it may feel like a formality, it’s important to notify the government so they can manage the deceased person’s taxes and benefits. It can also help ensure that you receive any financial support you’re entitled to.

When you register the death, the registrar will either complete the Tell Us Once service with you or give you a reference number so you can use the service online or by phone.

You’ll need to have this information to hand: 

  • The name, date of birth, address and date of death of the person who’s died 
  • The name and address of the hospital, care home, or hospice if they died there 
  • Your details as next of kin, including your date of birth, address, and if possible National Insurance number
  • The details of the person or company dealing with the estate (property, belongings and money) 

Other useful information to have:

  • Their National Insurance number
  • Their passport information
  • Their driving license number
  • Their vehicle registration

If the person who died was claiming benefits, you may be asked about the name of their council and what benefits they were claiming. 

Telling other organisations

The person who died will have other life admin that will need dealing with. While you don’t need to do this right away, it’s better to take care of things like this sooner rather than later, especially when finances are involved.  

You might have to contact their:

  • Banks
  • Pension scheme providers 
  • Insurance provider 
  • Mortgage provider, housing association or council housing office 
  • Utility companies 
  • GP, dentist, optician and anyone else providing medical care 
  • Mobile phone company 
  • Subscription services (like newspapers, Netflix or Sky)

It might be good to make a list of these and work through them a few at a time. 

Arranging the funeral

The person who died may have left funeral instructions in their will or a ‘letter of wishes.’ If you’re unsure about their preferences, the decision will fall to you or the executor of their will (the person responsible for managing their affairs).

You’ll need to decide whether to have the body cremated or buried, and what type of funeral or ceremony to arrange, if any. You can either work with a funeral director to help plan everything or choose to handle the arrangements yourself.

Using a funeral director

Always check that the people you talk to are registered with at least one of the following organisations. 

It’s a good idea to get more than one quote. Ask for an itemised quote which includes: 

  • The funeral director’s services 
  • A coffin 
  • Moving the person who died from the place of death, and caring for them until the funeral 
  • Travel to the nearest crematorium or cemetery 
  • All necessary arrangements and paperwork 

There may be extra charges for things like the crematorium, clergy or celebrant. The funeral director may ask for these fees to be paid up front. 

Arranging the funeral yourself

You don’t have to use a funeral director – you can do it yourself. DIY funerals can be less expensive and more environmentally friendly, as well as more personal and intimate.

Contact your local council if you want to arrange a funeral in your local cemetery or crematorium. 

Paying for the funeral

Funerals can be expensive, so it’s important to first check if the person who died had a funeral plan to cover the expenses. If you’re unsure, look in their will or use the Funeral Planning Authority’s search tool.

If there’s no funeral plan in place, the cost will typically be paid from the person’s estate (their money, property, or assets). Funeral costs take priority over other debts. Even if the person’s bank or building society account is frozen, it may be possible to access funds by presenting the death certificate. Alternatively, they may have had life insurance or a pension plan that could contribute towards the funeral costs.

If there’s a delay in releasing funds, you (or other family members and friends) may need to cover the funeral expenses until the estate is settled.

If the person didn’t leave enough money for the funeral and you need to pay for it, make sure to consider what you can afford. MoneyHelper offers information on typical funeral costs and tips for keeping expenses down.

Help with funeral costs

If you’re struggling to cover the funeral costs due to your income, you may be eligible for a Funeral Payment to assist with the expenses. To qualify, you must be receiving a benefit, such as Universal Credit, and meet certain relationship criteria to the deceased.

If you’re not eligible for a Funeral Payment, or it doesn’t cover all the costs, you may be able to apply for a Budgeting Advance or Budgeting Loan. These are interest-free loans between £100 and £1500, which you repay from your benefits within 1 year (for a Budgeting Advance) or 2 years (for a Budgeting Loan).

Dealing with the estate

The money, property, possessions, and debts left behind when someone dies is called their estate. This will need to be taken care of.

If there’s a will

If the person who died had a will, this explains what should happen to their estate. The will should also say who the executors are – the people who should sort out the estate.

These people will often (but not always) have to apply for the right to deal with the estate – this is known as ‘probate’. You can find out more about applying for probate on gov.uk. 

If there isn’t a will

If there is no will, the person is considered to have died ‘intestate’. There are specific rules, known as the rules of intestacy, for handling their estate. The closest living relative can apply for the right to manage the estate, known as probate. You can find more details on how to apply for probate.

In general, the spouse or civil partner automatically inherits all personal possessions and the first £322,000 of the estate. They are also entitled to half of the remaining estate, with the other half being divided equally among the children.

The rules for handling estates without a will can be complex. If you’re managing this process yourself, it’s a good idea to seek help from a legal expert. Visit our page on getting legal help for guidance on how to proceed.

Getting financial help

Coping financially can be a huge worry after the death of a partner. It can be daunting to think about how you’ll manage on your own. There is support available, so try to make sure you get all the financial help you can for you and your family. 

Bereavement Benefits

If you were living with, married to or in a civil partnership with your partner when they passed away, you should be able to get a Bereavement Support Payment.

If you were getting Child Benefit or pregnant when your partner died, you’ll get the higher rate of Bereavement Support Payment. This includes a first payment of £3,500 followed by up to 18 monthly payments of £350. Otherwise, you should be entitled to a first payment of £2,500 and up to 18 monthly payments of £100.

You can apply for this support online or by calling the Bereavement Service helpline on 0800 151 2012. You can also download a form to apply by post. 

Try to apply within the first 3 months of your partner dying. You’ll lose 1 monthly payment for every month you apply after this. You have to apply within 12 months of your partner’s death to get the initial payment of £3,500. However, special rules apply if you were living with your partner and weren’t married or in a civil partnership and they died before the 9th February 2023. 

You can only claim Bereavement Support Payment if your partner died on or after 6 April 2017. If they died before this, you may be able to claim Widowed Parent’s Allowance instead. 

Other benefits

You may be able to claim other benefits due to the change in your circumstances. 

Our benefits calculator will help you check what you’re entitled to.

Date last updated: 7 April 2025

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