Forum Replies Created
21 May 2020 at 11:12 am #40188
Search on YouTube for Melanie Tonia Evans, she has lots of helpful videos about co-parenting with a narcissistic person and about how to deal to with being alienated from your child. I found them very helpful.21 May 2020 at 11:06 am #40187
I changed my name after the divorce. My children already had my maiden name as middle names and were we’re ok with me changing mine. Apart from the hassle of having to inform all the organisations I deal with (banks etc), there’s been no problems.
Some places don’t accept a straight forward copy of the deed poll and insisted it was certified by a solicitor but other than that it’s been fine.22 March 2020 at 10:57 pm #38168
I found this on the Cafcass website:13 July 2019 at 4:51 pm #27664
Look on YouTube for Melanie Tonia Evans. She has loads of videos about healing from narcissistic abuse. She also has a healing program called NARP (Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program) that you may be interested in once you’ve seen some of her videos. It costs quite a lot but they do sponsor people who cannot afford to buy it, if you email them (address on her website) and let them know your circumstances, they will help. They helped me and I’ve only been doing it for about a week but it’s already making a difference. Heal your trauma from the abuse and life will unfold!29 June 2019 at 9:05 am #27041
Have you contacted the Child Maintenance Service? Might be worth seeing what they say? My ex messed me around with maintenance so I went to them. We now have a plan for what he pays and when. If he messed around, I can ask them to take it from his salary.8 April 2019 at 5:08 pm #23249
Women’s Aid and Rights of Women both have helpline that are useful. Details on their websites. Quite difficult to get through especially Rights of Women. See if you have a local Women’s refuge, sometimes they do outreach work to support people in situations like yours.
Citizens Advice Bureau is also a good source of help. They can help You find out if you are eligible for tax credits and other help. Tax credits have been a lifesaver for me – would really struggle without them so worth checking out.
Gingerbread helpline also really helpful.
Good luck1 January 2019 at 8:17 pm #19115
He was only prescribed it a week before the end of term. Doctor said to start with 2 sachets and go up to four if necessary. We did one at the beginning and one at the end of the day so it was ok. Trying to get him cleared out this week so we can go back to two when he’s back at school but if we can’t I’ll have to talk to the school about how we manage it.1 January 2019 at 10:27 am #19096
I had given the medicine to my ex with instructions from the doctor about when to give it. The first time he sent it back. The second time he just kept it.
I’ve talked to my son about him taking responsibility for taking the medicine but he seems reluctant. It has to be mixed in with a drink so I guess he would have to do it with his dad’s knowledge so maybe that’s difficult. He’s also very embarrassed about the problem because the constipation causes soiling and wetting so spends most of his time trying to deny the problem anyway.
My ex picks them up from school on Friday and drops them back on Monday and as my son is supposed to take 2-4 sachets a day, it’s not possible to dose him up before a visit.
I emailed him politely asking why he wasn’t giving the medicine and explaining why It’s important to manage the condition and attaching some info from Eric.org.uk. I got a reply back telling me it’s all in my mind, accusing me of having munchausens by proxy and also saying it’s my son’s fault for eating too much and being overweight! Pure gaslighting.
I spoke to womens aid when we were going through the divorce. They agreed he was abusive but because he’s not violent, they couldn’t suggest much – all his threats are related to money or that he will fight me for some custody of the children (even though he only sees them once a fortnight and doesn’t bother with them the rest of the time). He let’s himself into the house and takes things and threatens to take me to court any time I disagree with him on anything.
My solicitor wrote him letters asking him to stop but he just ignores them. I could get a non molestation order but that would cost about £6000 which I don’t have.
I could report him to the police for harassment but that would really up the ante and I’m reluctant to do that whilst I still live in a house he has access to. Also worried about how that would be for the children.29 December 2018 at 10:56 am #19002
My son is 8. He knows the protocol with the medication but he doesn’t always remember or feel able to stand up to his dad. My ex just says to him that he doesn’t need it because things are fine when he’s there. He doesn’t get that things are only fine because we’ve had two weeks of doing things right which are making a difference but then a weekend of not doing it sets everything back again.
The relationship with my ex is very tricky, he’s abusive and threatening if I disagree with him or challenge him on anything and he purposefully ignores my attempts to communicate about the kids. He says bad things about me to the kids and has no understanding that they have needs or wants of their own. Everything has to be his way or he gets angry.28 December 2018 at 11:10 pm #18995
The issues have been going on since before we split. He was never particularly involved then, preferring to get angry with our son than do anything constructive. I did all the research, all the doctors appointments etc. He grudgingly went along with things that I was trying whilst making me feel that I was being neurotic.
It took years but we’d finally got it sorted through a mixture of medication and diet until about a month ago when it came back. I’m trying medication to kick start recovery with medication from the doctor to compliment the dietary changes that we already use.
My ex has the kids once a fortnight for the weekend and doesn’t bother to follow any of the things I am trying to do and so the progress we make keeps getting knocked back. It’s so frustrating.