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  • #39089 Report

    Vc2335
    Participant

    Unfortunately he has already remarried a woman he knew for a few short months who also came from a physically abusive relationship- can anyone else see a pattern !! Interestingly he chose a woman who like myself came from an abusive relationship.

    he sees happy to let her take care of the kids and she is oblivious.

    thanks for your support and comments guys

    #39078 Report

    Vc2335
    Participant

    The problem is having lost everything he isn’t happy at leaving it there he wants to take my children away from me.
    Im scared that the courts won’t see him for the narcissistic sociopath he is

    that’s one of the reasons I didn’t press charges through fear of not being believed

    #39046 Report

    Vc2335
    Participant

    Reading your post was like seeing my life in print.

    In 2006 I left the father of my son who was a physically abusive drunk.  He was charged and convicted for his crimes against me.  I moved home with my parents and began to rebuild my life.

    I then met the father of my daughter who initially seemed like a knight in shining armour and he made me feel safe. He was very controlling but I put it down to him being concerned and protective after all i had been through. I soon feel pregnant with our daughter and he went on to adopt my son as his own.

    He didn’t like me going out or having a life of my own and to be honest I was initially happy because I was so frightened to leave the house through fear of bumping into my ex husband.  As the children got older and reached school age I wanted to get a part time job and that’s where all the problems began.

    He hated me working and made my life a misery, constantly quizzing me about my new job and who I worked with. The girls at work regularly had nights out and if I asked to go he would make a fuss so that I would end of cancelling or on the odd occasion I did go he would make me feel guilty for days leading up to it and afterwards.

    I was feeling suffocated but I was also desperate to make sure my kids had a stable family home. After all he wasn’t physically violent so it wasn’t abuse – I was just being silly.
    He would regularly ask me to do things I didn’t feel comfortable with in the bedroom and if I said no he would tell me I was selfish and frigid and if I loved him I would do it! I found myself scared to do any other. the thought of having him anywhere near me made me sick.  After he would finish I would cry myself to sleep and this was my life for years.

    After 9 years I finally started to realise what he was doing and told him I was unhappy and wanted a divorce – what followed was worse than the relationship itself.

    initially after saying I wanted out he refused to leave the house, we therefore kept living together for the first two months – him forcing himself on me whenever he saw fit, he traced my phone and was following my every move. In Feb 2017 I couldn’t take it anymore , he refused to leave so I packed my clothes and the kids and moved home with my parents. I was desperate and living out of suitcase , I had no money or savings and all the money I had were tied up in the house. As a result I agreed to sign my rights to our business if he paid me half the equity in the house. He kept the house the furniture and the business and I walked away with £52500 – my equity. I was able to put down a deposit on a house which I brought but the abuse hasn’t stopped.
    He contacted everyone in my family and my closest friends to discredit me as much as possible. To the point I won’t even speak to my sister anymore – she believed his lies! He began dating a friend of mine to spite me. He has befriended friends that  weren’t even his friends to begin with to manipulate the situation and when I got angry – says I’m mental. He refused to have the children for the first 9 months saying he needed his drinking time, did not pay for them at all.
    he has watched me struggle financially whilst living the high life and bullied me to agree to whatever he wants.
    He poisons my children every time they do see him but if I stop contact I’m the bad guy.
    He refuses to give me copies of all digital photos and videos of our children. They were stored on his computer when I left and couldn’t take copies with me – he does this to continue to abuse and torment me. I don’t have a single photo of my babies when they were little.
    since finally contacting the csa in November 19 because financially I could no longer bare the load alone is
    he constantly threatening me with legal action for shared care of our children.
    he is a vile vile man and I feel like leaving the relationship just made my life harder. There is no end to it

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