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  • #38131 Report

    MissFishfinger
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    Thank you so much to you both for replying!

    It helps doesn’t it. We can’t fix each others problems but we can ‘listen’.

    JosiePanda08. I really feel your pain, I’m very happy you didn’t terminate because of him. And I can only imagine how complicated your feelings around that are or have been (isn’t therapy a wonder!!). One part I feel lucky in is that I had no emotional attachment to my child’s dad. Although i’m struggling with the fact that i’m currently living with my abuser. Which is hard when the person you look to support you is also the one that has made your life so hard. I’m happy you walked away from a situation that just may have caused you and your child a lot more pain. And let’s be honest, scientifically they are parasites eh! But lovely ones! And yes, things have a way of working themselves out and I must not compare myself to all my rich friends in seemingly perfect relationships! Your message meant a lot to me!

    TanishaHouse1990. Hang in there. It sounds to be like you will be better without him! Kids need stability and it doesn’t sound like he can offer that. Although you must feel utterly heartbroken and let down. Know that you are not alone and many of us didn’t plan it this way. We will struggle more, but with the right support we will be ok! Stay strong and don’t beat yourself up! If only I could listen to my own advice.

     

     

     

    #37897 Report

    MissFishfinger
    Participant

    I’m so sorry you are going through this. My situation is different, but I feel I could have so easily been in your place.
    I’m 21 weeks pregnant to someone I met online. We hung out for a few months and whilst going for fertility tests I became pregnant. I told him and he immediately told me to get rid of the baby and that because I have mental health problems I shouldn’t be a mother. I still wanted to give him a chance so met up with him a few months later. He turned up drunk and continued to drink. He then changed his tune and couldn’t accept that I didn’t want a relationship with him. He became increasingly controlling and needy to the point that I blocked him from all contact with me.
    I felt that my mental health and the health of my baby came before fixing his problems and doing everything he wanted me to do.

    He had also been convicted recently of assault by battery on an ex partner, and he himself told me that he drunk drove with his son in the car (that he is banned from seeing, whole other story).

    As my pregnancy has continued I have felt very strongly that he will not be involved in my babies life.

    Having said that the guilt eats me up inside to bring up baby without a father. But I stuck to my position as I know I am protecting my child and that is more important.
    So I say to you, protect yourself and your child. There will be other father figures if this one can’t grow up and be responsible.

    Our situations aren’t ideal and we can only make the best of them!

    You and baby come first! So fight for the situation that is most comfortable for you as the primary care giver.
    Good luck to you!!

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