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  • #5946 Report

    katietaytie
    Participant

    i know exactly how you are feeling, …..   i lost my mum and twin sister when i was a kid, , 5 yrs ago i lost both my other 2 sisters and an uncle all to cancer within 6 months of each other, a divorce , 2failed relationships and last march  i lost my dad.

    the  pain doesnt go away, BUT it does get easier , alot easier, … you need to learn to accept what has happend , come to terms with it and move on, … i know its hard to even think about at the moment, …. but in about 18months time you will look back on this and think yeah i did it!. 

    i tried to bury my head in the sand so to speak and ignore it all , .. to a degree it worked,… but it was just putting off the inevitable.

    it was the big black hole of lonliness that crippled me, .. that horrible empty feeling , and the self doubt , always questioning my self, and the “WHY?” and “WHAT IF’S”, i got to the stage were i was thinking “if this is life i dont want it, stop the world i want to get off”, ..it was like i was just hanging on with my fingertips to the edge of sum big black hole and i could feel myself falling.  on the outside i seemed fine, but on the inside it as not a nice place to be .. i eventually bit the bullett and got sum help,  i went to Turning Point talking therapys, .. they were brilliant , a god send , …. please dont feel alone ,cause u are not,  message me anytime even if its just to let off steam, .. you will get thru this , …. i did  x

    #5945 Report

    katietaytie
    Participant

    hi Keeleymoo13, .. its all the same crap , just on a different day, ….. thing is i would rather be single , .. im liking my own space at the moment, .. just not the boredom an stuff on an evening , ..i have suffered alot with anxiety and panic over the years, so i tend to over think alot. So the smallest things can get blown out of all proportion,

    I could be in a room full of people and still feel alone, .. i think thats just me being me though, i have had a lot of growing up to do in a very short time over these last few years, … wish i had a time machine!!  ;0)

     

    #5893 Report

    katietaytie
    Participant

    hi all,

    same boat here aswell,   just turned 41  ( still feel 21 tho!, weres the time gone?!) single mum to 2boys aged 5 & 23.

    the day times are fine , is the evenings and nights that get me, …. its like the world is geting on with life, while im stuck still, .. its wierd, ..

    ive no family left apart from a brother who lives in diff part of the country, my son’s  dad is just a waste of oxygen.. .so its just me my youngest boy and the dog

     

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