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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 33 total)
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  • #27142 Report

    GAM19187
    Participant

    Hey Whitingel,

    Defo you are not alone. I won’t tell you much about my relationship as it didn’t have a happy ending BUT these feelings are normal!!

    Fitting someone in your already planned life may be overwhelming so my advice to you is to set your own pace and maybe you can start by him staying over one night or two a week and see how it goes.

    Along the way you’ll figure out, I promise x

    G

    #26447 Report

    GAM19187
    Participant

    Hello SD,

    Funnily I came across that sentence and it’s now my profile on WhatsApp. I loved it.

    So difficult sometimes to keep afloat but we can do it, if not for us, for our  children.

    G.

    #25885 Report

    GAM19187
    Participant

    Hi Peter,

    I hope you are feeling better. Showing emotions can be hard especially for those of us that are always so “strong” – if you know what I mean.

    Be gentle with yourself and remember you are learning how to manage it all. Perhaps, indulge yourself with a treat! You are doing your very best and that’s all anyone can ask for.

    At mine, we have “Chat Day” on Tuesdays which is where we talk about our day and plan the week. They tell me about their friends, homework, if they think I was unfair telling them off xyz day etc. Step by step we have been opening up more the subjects and we even talk sometimes about Trump.🙄 Of course adults have stronger feelings about things and I try to keep it low key, but it feels good that they feel confident to talk and express how they feel which in turn has helped me too.

    G.

     

    #25884 Report

    GAM19187
    Participant

    Hi Matt,

    Nothing much to add to what other have already said. Being a good parent is already difficult, let alone being a single one. It sounds like you are doing an outstanding job.

    Please remember that you are also a human being and you have your needs in every sense and that is perfectly normal.

    Children learn also from examples, showing your son he is your main priority has been your 10 years task, but personal wellbeing and self care is also a good lesson to teach. Go have a good time in whatever you want to do and come back to your boy with fully renovated energies.

    Take care.

    G.

    #25823 Report

    GAM19187
    Participant

    Hi all,

    So sorry to read about the situation some of you are going through. It will, at some point, get easier I hope.

    I also don’t think children adapt that easily. Since my ex’s new marriage in December my children have been struggling to understand it all. He only met her in August or so and got married fast as lightning. Two of her children and mine don’t get along for different reasons and their dad seems mediate well but it is very stressful for everyone.

    Re Alladin, we may give it a try. I went to see the musical and it was real fun!

    G.

    #25822 Report

    GAM19187
    Participant

    Hi A

    Your post resonates so much in my life too. Not that my ex is a horrible person or has intentionally hurt them but I understand the long for him and when they come back home with me, it’s like they can let their emotions flow. Never understood why but I get it now.

    G.

    #25719 Report

    GAM19187
    Participant

    Hi P,

    Lame excuse to be honest. I don’t think she’s thinking clearly – just assuming.

    Asking her why will only reopen the wound, let yourself heal and move on- that’s my advice.

    Only time will tell what happens next.

    G.

    #25717 Report

    GAM19187
    Participant

    Hi shesnotok,

    First of all – welcome! 🙂

    I think you are to hard on yourself, 4 kids!! You are doing a great job! The house can wait trust me on this🤦‍♀️. Sleep as much as you need and you know what, being single has its own benefits:

    1) TV for yourself – including tv package (i.e. ice cream, popcorn, a cheeky drink)

    2) Bed – you can sleep in star shape if you please

    3) No socks to pick up from all over the house – at least my ex was like that

    4) when time is right you will find new hopes and who knows maybe you’ll find your prince charming!

    Jokes aside, it will get easier and at some point it will feel like second nature to do everything by yourself.

    For me it worked to talk to my boys and say guys, I can’t cope with everything so I need help! They have their chores and reward charts and all to make everyone’s life fall under a routine and -kind of- take control of the chaos. But with time and allowing yourself room to breathe and self care too.

    Remember, you are doing your best.

    🙂

    G.

    #25714 Report

    GAM19187
    Participant

    Hi P,

    I know, our children hurt more than anything in the world, but they are lucky to have you and with you they will find a happy home and a happy life.

    Focus on that 🙂

    G

    #25712 Report

    GAM19187
    Participant

    Hi PeterD,

    Without excusing her, I can only think that she may have never clicked into motherhood. Or just simply she has other priorities right now that does not include children?

    Anyway there is so little we can do about other people’s actions that it is better to focus on you and your children, in this way you don’t waste your precious energy that is so much needed for all of you.

    I am all about reading books to help me cope with things. One book that has helped me to cope in different stages in life is “The Four Agrements”.

    Happy to talk any time you need it.

    G.

    #25639 Report

    GAM19187
    Participant

    Stay strong and show them you will be there for them. Only time will tell if you win her back but as of now think about the wonderful children you have.

    Go for it, you can do this.

    G.

    #25638 Report

    GAM19187
    Participant

    Hi Kathy,

    You are right on that. I guess the children will end up finding their own voice in all this mess. I just don’t want them to choose either path to make any of us happy.

    I guess time will tell and the only thing I can do is to support them and be there for them.

    Thank you.

    G.

    #25635 Report

    GAM19187
    Participant

    Hi Anonymous,

    If you read my original post I was asking for tips about how to cope with all of this, hence I think I am open to constructive opinion and unbiased help. Honestly you are the one putting the religion into the scope and have insinuated I have an issue with Islam and that I am not sufficiently educated about religion when this is not the case.

    I wasn’t my intention to have people on my side nor discuss faith but I am not interested in any of those options. My post was about tips from parents to deal with this and learn how they have coped with this in their experience. I am not religious but I am flexible in their learning.

    To be honest I don’t have to explain myself to you and yes, I consider brainwashing to say that non believers are not going anywhere also say that pork is disgusting when  he KNOWS pork is my main meat. It is your opinion to say it is inflammatory. This comments instigate fear and disgust for anything other than that religious beliefs. Totally irrational thinking.

    I have tried to talk to him and ask him to reduce the exposure until they are older but it’s not working.

    Your type of posting if anything is making more opposed to the idea of my children being close to any type of religion so I guess I get to thank you for that.

    Have a good evening.

    #25622 Report

    GAM19187
    Participant

    The thing is Anonymous my children are both Spanish by nationality and genes, I am not imposing it to them they feel half Spanish so allow me to say, the comparison is ridiculous.

    And as I said they have gone to religious events with their dad such as the local mosque events and also have celebrated Eid at school which I have always embraced without imposing my belief.

    They only found out I am an atheist after their dad brought religion into our lives and yes, I agree he wants to share his new lifestyle and my children eat halal (and so I do at times when I want to) but he is not respecting the natural process of being brought without religion to become religious in only two years. He is not allowing them to think by themselves. I agree with PeterD, this should only be discussed when they have the maturity to understand, otherwise it is plainly brainwashing.I find this wrong beyond words.

    The thing of not having a religion is that you can learn about ALL of the religions, so please stop insisting in that because I don’t have a god I am ignorant about religion.

    I was raised as a Catholic and I know what I am talking about.

    G.

    #25591 Report

    GAM19187
    Participant

    Hi Sherima,

    Whilst I agree we are facing difficult times where children are exposed to a lot more than we did as children, I do disagree godly ways should be the answer.

    As an atheist I do teach self love and love to others to my children without a god of any kind having to involved.

    There is not right or wrong answer about religion it’s about belief. But please let’s stop demonising non believers.

    Thanks,

    G.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 33 total)