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16 April 2022 at 6:33 pm #68931
GemwgemwParticipantI found this great podcast https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly90aGVuYXJjaXNzaXN0aWNhYnVzZXJlY292ZXJ5cG9kY2FzdC5saWJzeW4uY29tL3Jzcw?ep=14
Basically you can’t coparent with a Narcissist, but there are strategies like grey rock method and parallel parenting. It is really hard though.
23 March 2022 at 10:58 pm #67826
GemwgemwParticipantThank you all, such lovely replies, I do need to fight for a fair agreement, I will summon up some strength!
22 March 2022 at 9:14 pm #67782
GemwgemwParticipantThank you. I think I knew that really, I’m just worried about his reaction as he will say I’m choosing to have them more so instead of him paying more he should have them more! So hard to keep being strong and assertive, so draining having him oush boundaries all the time! Thanks
21 March 2022 at 8:09 am #67673
GemwgemwParticipantCan you insist all communication is written? That way you can go back to what he has said? Can you make a schedule that has to be stuck to so he can’t keep changing it all the time? Good luck
12 March 2022 at 7:42 am #67430
GemwgemwParticipantYou can also go to the council for housing advice as they will want to assist with preventing you from becoming homeless. Citizens Advice can also advocate for you. Do you get PIP for your child, is there anything else you’re entitled to? Can you apply for child maintenance? If you were to get a 30 min free consultation with a lawyer you could ask about spousal maintenance, he has responsibilities! Good luck
12 March 2022 at 7:36 am #67429
GemwgemwParticipantI think 7 is still quite young, when i think back to 7 I’m not sure I could have handled that, and I know relatives whose parents left when they were twice that age and they never got over knowing about new partners etc. Its sucks that you can’t explain and that uou shouldnt really demonise her dad because, well, he’s still her dad, but I get that she needs some clarity to stop her feeling uncertain, so maybe you could think of an appropriate child friendly version for now. It would make you the bigger person, and as a wise friend keeps telling me “one day they will know the truth and how much you acted with integrity, for their sakes,” which I’m looking forward to! Plus if I dare say anything remotely slightly critical of their dad my oldest jumps straight to his defence!
When he gets angry are you scared of him and what he could do? It sounds controlling and intimidating which is not ok. It sounds like a good idea for him not to be staying over anymore, and you could get advice from a domestic abuse charity about how to plan for your emotional and physical safety when telling him?
10 March 2022 at 6:33 am #67316
GemwgemwParticipantHi,
This sounds abusive, he is using your son to be abusive to you and being emotionally abusive to him. This is not in his best interests especially because of his additional needs. Can you get in touch with a domestic abuse service as they might be able to support you through family court?
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