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  • #29466 Report

    choosingtogoitalone
    Participant

    Thank you both for taking the time to reply. Family isn’t an option sadly so I’ll have to have another think.

    #29462 Report

    choosingtogoitalone
    Participant

    I’m here too 🙂

    30 weeks. 39 years old. IVF and sperm donation.

     

    Absolutely thrilled. I had a string of long relationships with men who didn’t want children, were in messy situations or who turned out to be alcoholics/abusive and so the years passed and I found myself single again. Time was almost up so I took the decision

     

    I’m thrilled

     

    If you want to chat drop me a DM.

     

    Wishing you the best of luck!

    #29461 Report

    choosingtogoitalone
    Participant

    Hi

     

    I too have an alcoholic ex and would suggest getting some support from Al Anon or “sober recovery” forum online (friends and family section).

    Share these stories on there and you’ll find a lot of support and relevant advice.

    You are right to have your concerns. You have witnessed what it is to be around someone in addiction and from what you’re saying, you know exactly what’s right and wrong here.

    If you want to talk more drop me a DM. I’ve been through similar and honestly would have lost my mind if I had followed advice of those who have never been directly involved with an addict.

     

    Don’t worry about losing face or looking like whatever, just trust your instincts, set your boundaries (for the children AND you) and get some support in working out how to manage this incredibly difficult situation. So sorry you’re going through it

     

    Before I met him I would never have got it. Your situation is very different to that of other single parents.

    Wishing you the best of luck

    #23016 Report

    choosingtogoitalone
    Participant

    Oh and airbnb can bring costs down if you book in advance. You can find some pretty fun places too…like old cottages or cabins and stuff

    #23015 Report

    choosingtogoitalone
    Participant

    Studland bay is great for day trips. You take a train to Bournemouth I think (or maybe Poole) and then there’s an open top bus that goes on a little drag ferry and down the national trust protected land.

    The beach (by the national trust facilities) is white sand and sand dunes and beautiful views and there are water sports and other activities like kayaking around the bay 🙂

    #23014 Report

    choosingtogoitalone
    Participant

    Hi!

    I’m new here and also pregnant and single. I chose it though. Using a donor and going through IVF as after the last relationship broke down (he was an alcoholic) I knew I was out of time and it was “now or never”….i’ve wanted to be a mum for over 15 years

    I worked with parents with postnatal depression for quite some time and one thing I saw a lot was that people often had such high expectations of what they should feel and when they didn’t they would spiral downwards

    I keep reminding myself of this. I know that although i’m thrilled to be pregnant and very excited, i’m also grieving the loss of the dream I thought would happen…having a baby with someone I love…having support…

    I think that’s normal!

     

    Maybe let yourself off the hook.a little bit. Give yourself a mental cuddle. There’s so much pressure to feel this and feel that (especially when bub arrives!) but we are all different with different situations.

    Let yourself feel what you feel (and don’t forget the hormones!! Crikey!!) and take little steps to help you find some friends and joy…a new hobby…visit a place you love…make some food you love…watch a funny film…reach out to an old friend or colleague…

    Wishing you lots of luck!!!

    What an adventure we’re on!!

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